LAUGH LINES
Untying the Knot: Fox has developed “ ‘I Want a Divorce,’ [which will] feature six couples with pending divorces. The couples will duke it out . . . by answering personal questions about one another, and in turn, win some of their shared marital assets. . . . Now, if they can just get Bill and Hillary to make an appearance.” (Mark Wheeler)
*
The Essential David Letterman
Top 10 Election Issues
Important to Dumb Guys
10. “Medicare coverage for swallowing a billiard ball.”
9. “Use part of budget surplus to buy everybody a free hat.”
8. “If you lose your wallet, the government should help you find it by using a satellite or laser or something.”
7. “Sure, waffles are delicious now . . . but will they always be?”
6. “Why don’t people on TV wave back at you?”
5. “We’ve got to be prepared for an invasion by Canexico.”
4. “Finding the one-armed man to finally clear the fugitive’s good name.”
3. “The next president gets to appoint, like, three new regulars to ‘The Hollywood Squares.’ ”
2. “Strengthening military so space monkeys can’t blow up the White House.”
1. “Candy or soda? (It’s a tie.)”
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.
The complete guide to home viewing
Get Screen Gab for everything about the TV shows and streaming movies everyone’s talking about.
You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times.