Quarterly Report’s Winners, Losers

Can you believe that a quarter of the NFL season has already been played? It seems as though Dick Vermeil’s tears from last season aren’t even dry.

Nevertheless, it is time to honor the early winners and point out the losers, in case they don’t know who they are.

GOING FOR THE GOLD

COACHES: The St. Louis Rams’ Mike Martz, the New York Jets’ Al Groh and the Miami Dolphins’ Dave Wannstedt.

To succeed, all three had to match up to a towering predecessor.

In St. Louis, Martz was following Vermeil, who retired after a Super Bowl-winning season.

The conversation that resulted in Martz’s hiring probably went something like this:

Team president John Shaw: “Dick is retiring. I think we should give the job to Mike Martz.”

Owner Georgia Frontiere: “Who?”

Shaw: “Mike Martz, our offensive coordinator.”

Frontiere: “Oh.”

Martz has stepped in and turned the already-overpowering offensive machine up a few more notches. The 4-0 Rams are now even starting to play some defense.

In New York, Groh’s ascension to the job was made easier by the fact that, after Bill Parcells moved into the front office, Bill Belichick took the coaching job for about 24 hours before leaving for New England.

In comparison, Groh looked like a rock of stability.

He has got the Jets believing. Although not loaded with talent, they also are 4-0.

Wannstedt took over for the “genius” of the late ‘90s, Jimmy Johnson. Of course, it helped that the genius would have settled for being labeled “above-average” after losing his last game, 62-7.

Left with a bare cupboard on offense, Wannstedt has the Dolphins 3-1 by putting together a defense worthy of a coaching genius.

PLAYERS: Ram quarterback Kurt Warner, Denver Bronco running back Mike Anderson and Dolphin defensive lineman Trace Armstrong.

Warner has quickly answered those who thought he might be a one-season wonder. This season, he has been even better, his 1,557 passing yards the best total in league history for the first four games.

Anderson took a look at Terrell Davis, a 2,000-yard rusher, and Olandis Gary, a 1,000-yard rusher, in training camp and figured he’d be lucky to make the roster.

But when injuries sidelined Davis and Gary, Anderson nearly made NFL history, falling 15 yards short of becoming the first to rush for at least 100 yards in one’s first three starts.

Armstrong, at 34 and playing only in passing situations, is still leading the league in sacks with six and half while serving as the emotional leader of the NFL’s best defense.

OUT OF THE GOLD

COACHES: Cincinnati Bengals’ Bruce Coslet, Patriots’ Bill Belichick, San Diego Chargers’ Mike Riley.

Coslet finally faced reality and resigned from the winless, hopeless Bengals last Monday.

New England owner Bob Kraft has to wonder how he can trust the judgment of a head coach who left a team that is now 4-0 to go to one that is now 0-4.

Riley has been saddled with a rather serious problem: His choice is between using Ryan Leaf at quarterback or going to the wishbone offense.

It’s not all Riley’s fault the Chargers are so bad, but who is owner Alex Spanos going to stick the blame with? Bobby Beathard has gone surfing and he’s not coming back.

PLAYERS: San Francisco 49er receiver Terrell Owens, Patriot quarterback Drew Bledsoe, Chicago Bear quarterback Cade McNown, and the Chargers’ Leaf.

No matter how many receptions he makes this season, it won’t match the criticism Owens will receive for his tasteless taunts of the Dallas Cowboys.

Stuck with an ineffective running game and a weak offensive line, Bledsoe has managed to play down to the level of those around him.

Leaf is Leaf. Enough said.

McNown has had a rough start, going 0-4 and publicly battling with Chicago fans. But then again, he could make up to $22 million over the next five years and is dating a Playmate of the Year. He never had it that good at UCLA.

HUNTING FOR SUCKERS

This is a record even Ross Porter would stick his nose up at.

The Kansas City Chiefs have sold all 78,000-plus seats for Monday night’s game against the Seattle Seahawks.

But those fans left out need not agonize. For a mere $10 a ticket-- and $15 to park--fans can watch the game on a huge video screen next door at Kauffman Stadium, the neighboring home of the Royals, courtesy of Chiefs’ owner Lamar Hunt.

Are you following this? You can pay $25 to watch the same game you can see it for free in your own home, or, if it’s fellowship you seek, at the corner sports bar.

Is it worth that much just to drown out Dennis Miller?

Adding to the excitement, the Chiefs, if they sell 26,000 seats in Kauffman, will claim a new “on-site” attendance record, bettering the mark of 102,368 set by the Los Angeles Rams in the Coliseum in a 1957 game against the 49ers.

But why stop there? Why not count those homes tuned to the game that are within sight of the site, setting an “on-sight” attendance record for the ages?

JUST CUT YOUR LOSSES

After Coslet’s resignation, the Bengals replaced him with defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau, a former star cornerback for the Detroit Lions. After spending 28 years as an assistant coach on various teams, LeBeau gets his first head job at age 62.

“I tried to talk him out of it,” LeBeau said of Coslet’s decision to leave. “He was not to be swayed.”

Let’s see. Cincinnati is 0-3, has been shut out in its last two games and has been outscored 74-7 this season.

Coslet’s career coaching mark is 47-78. After taking over the Bengals midway through the 1996 season and leading them to a 7-2 record, he has overseen their collapse over the last three seasons in which they have gone 7-9, 3-13 and 4-12.

And LeBeau says he tried to talk Coslet out of leaving?

Too bad. The man has waited 28 years to be a head coach and he’s already guilty of bad judgment before he even takes the field.