Buffer Can Deliver Sunday Punch

Ring announcer Michael Buffer reportedly has amassed a fortune with his trademark line, “Let’s get ready to rumble!”

“I was hired to do it at a bar mitzvah in Philadelphia,” he told the Las Vegas Review-Journal. “I did it for a lady’s birthday party in New Jersey. I’ve done it for a bull rider’s event [in Las Vegas]. My next one is a bass-fishing tournament in Michigan.”

But his favorite appearance was at a religious conference. He was hired by an evangelical church group at his regular rate of $15,000.

“They had a costumed devil on one side and a preacher on the other in this church with 5,000 people in it,” he said.

You can imagine the bedlam that ensued.

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Trivia time: Which former King holds the NHL record for the fastest goal at the start of a playoff game?

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Really hooked: Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle writes that Giant Manager Dusty Baker underwent surgery for a carpal-tunnel problem in his right hand:

“That’s usually a writer’s type of injury. [It] is the oddest to a Giants’ manager since Roger Craig sliced his hand on the hook of his wife’s bra. That mishap almost landed Craig on the DL--Disabled by Lingerie.”

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Nice sunsets, though: Canadian hockey fans are booing our national anthem. It happened twice in Vancouver before Stanley Cup playoff games last week and three times in Edmonton.

Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated points out that Canadians such as Wayne Gretzky, Larry Walker, Michael J. Fox and Jim Carrey aren’t moving back to the land of the 65-cent dollar.

“Gee, can’t imagine why,” writes Reilly. “Other than fat taxes, tiny temperatures and the fact that a big Saturday night is sittin’ next to a hole in the ice waitin’ for a lunk to come along while keepin’ your bait warm in your mouth.”

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Mound magician: Skip Bayless of the Chicago Tribune writes that White Sox pitcher David Wells is the top attraction in town:

“In the clubhouse, Wells can be 37 going on 17. On the mound he’s 37 going on Buddha. He is in spellbinding control of his emotions, his plan and DartMaster location. . . . Wells just might have the best curve in baseball, to which he can add 7 mph or subtract 4 mph. The head-banger can modulate like Sinatra.”

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British brute: Manchester United soccer star Roy Keane was ejected for driving his cleats into the knee of Manchester City’s Alfie Haaland during last Saturday’s 1-1 tie. Keane then bent over the writhing defender, adding some trash talk for good measure. He was suspended for four games.

The British tabloids responded vehemently. “YOU THUG,” screamed the Mail. “MAD MAN,” said the Sunday People. “MANIAC,” said the News of the World.

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Looking back: On this day in 1995, Michael Jordan, in his first playoff game after his return from retirement, scored 48 points as the Chicago Bulls defeated the Charlotte Hornets, 108-100, in overtime.

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Trivia answer: Don Kozak, six seconds against the Boston Bruins on April 17, 1977.

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And finally: Although both the Vancouver Grizzlies and the Charlotte Hornets have filed to move to Memphis, the uncertainty over which team might come has hurt efforts to make a deal and plan a new arena.

Said Memphis investor Andy Cates: “This is the equivalent of a friend asking you to his wedding and when you ask him who the bride is he says, ‘Oh, I have it down to two.’ ”