LAUGH LINES

No Clue: “Hillary Clinton met with incoming First Lady Laura Bush [recently]. They had tea. Actually, Laura Bush does have something in common with Hillary Clinton--she also has no idea what her husband is doing in the Oval Office.” (Jay Leno)

Endangered Species: “Oldsmobile will be phased out . . . and will soon go the way of dinosaurs, dodos and the Los Angeles NFL teams.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

She Said: “Sen.-elect and First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton is being paid $8 million for writing her version of the Clintons’ years in the White House. . . . It’s going to be a no kiss-and-tell book.” (Barbara Best)

Honeymoon Period: “President Clinton said he’s sure Democrats will give George W. Bush a honeymoon. Let’s hope so. The GOP refused to give Bill Clinton a honeymoon and he spent the last eight years in the Oval Office trying to have one.” (Argus Hamilton)

What’s in a Code Name: “The Secret Service has given a code name to George Bush. It’s ‘Tumbler.’ Actually, do you know the first name they considered? This is true--’Einstein.’ I think that is a much smarter choice. If they’re talking and people are trying to figure out who Einstein is, the last person you’re going to think of [is Bush].” (Leno)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.