For the Biggest of Roses, Make the Call for Irish

I’m sure you would agree, the Rose Bowl will be so much more exciting next year with Notre Dame playing for the national championship.

Now don’t misunderstand, inviting Purdue to Pasadena for the first time in 34 years for one of your run-of-the-mill, it-really-means-nothing Rose Bowls was a fine idea, but if you’re going to play the granddaddy of them all for everything in the world, then at the very least you’d probably want the best football team the state of Indiana has to offer.

Let’s face it, you bring Notre Dame to Pasadena, and it’s automatically a pageantry, TV and tradition upgrade.

Begin with the pregame show. There was nothing wrong with the University of Washington marching band Monday if you consider entertainment the risky maneuver of spelling out the letter “W,” and later doing a medley of Chicago’s greatest hits because “Singing in the Rain” would have hit too close to home.

Purdue had a big drum--I would guess to drown out the rest of the band.

Now put Purdue and Washington in the same stadium for a four-hour football game without a catchy, memorable or even identifiable fight song and you have Muzak.

They are not going to admit it publicly, of course, and have their country club privileges revoked. But I’m pretty sure Trojan fans don’t mind it when Notre Dame scores because it means they get the chance to hear the Irish fight song. This was a good year too because they heard it a lot.

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NOW YOU’VE PROBABLY got kids. You’d like them to watch the game too, which brings the mascots into play. Washington has a snooty dog: “Whitepaws Arlut Spirit of Golddust,” which was either a very tired puppy the way it kept falling down, or recently had swallowed a whole box of allergy medicine, and kids, you know how drowsy that can make you.

Purdue has Purdue Pete, who walks around with a sledgehammer, presumably to club Whitepaws Arlut Spirit of Golddust senseless, and maybe that explains the dog’s behavior. Explain that to the kids.

Notre Dame has a leprechaun--ah, isn’t that sweet.

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AS FOR TV, maybe you watched this “Fabric of America” production, and asked yourself, “What the heck does the Fabric of America have to do with this?” And you probably never did get the answer, because as soon as Purdue Coach Joe Tiller turned quarterback Drew Brees into a handoff machine, you lost interest in what was billed as the bowl battle of great college quarterbacks.

Brees had completed four of five passes by the end of the first quarter to complement 13 rushing attempts by the Boilermakers, and what a surprise, Washington led, 14-0. What time does that Oregon State-Notre Dame game come on?

Next year’s ratings, of course, would be the highest for any sporting event ever put on TV. Half of the country--known as the good people, would tune in because they are die-hard Notre Dame fans. The other half--which includes those with shady or criminal backgrounds, would watch because they hate Notre Dame.

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NOTRE DAME HAS tradition. We’re talking “Rudy” here, the Irish Guard doing the Irish jig after every score, the student body holding their hands together to form a “B” for Coach Bob Davie while they play the 1812 Overture at the end of the third quarter. There are just so many things that separate Notre Dame from the also-rans. For example, Purdue was penalized 11 times in this Rose Bowl--Notre Dame only recruits good citizens.

Now forget about this year, because I can tell you for a fact, Notre Dame wasn’t motivated. The championship game is being played in the Orange Bowl, and the Irish have been there, done that. No, they’ve been pointing toward next year’s title game in the Rose Bowl for years, waiting for the chance to return here for the first time since 1925 when Knute Rockne drove the Irish to a win over Stanford.

I’m rooting for UCLA to be Notre Dame’s opponent in the big game next year, because I’m not much for defense and neither are the Bruins.

My only fear at this time is that somehow Oregon State will be here.

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THE FLYOVER BY four U.S. Navy jets was impressive but would have been far more effective had they returned every so often and rid the cluttered sky of more than a dozen small aircraft pulling advertising banners.

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AS SOON AS it sank in what he had actually said--giving Vinny Testaverde a vote of confidence as the New York Jets’ starting quarterback next season--Al Groh jumped at the chance to become head coach at the University of Virginia.

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IF THE SUPER BOWL ends with Baltimore quarterback Trent Dilfer holding the Lombardi Trophy over his head, you can look at your own child, and as uncoordinated as he might be, you can look him in the eye and say, “Anything is possible,” and really mean it.

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IF THE SUPER BOWL ends with someone from the Philadelphia Eagles or New York Giants holding the Lombardi Trophy over their head, I would imagine most of the country will miss it, turning the TV off following the halftime show.

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SPORTS COLUMNIST John Steadman, both a giant and a gentleman in the newspaper business, who had covered 719 consecutive Colts-Ravens games until cancer made him too sick this past December to make it to the stadium, died Monday. Steadman’s death came a day after the Ravens won the first playoff game played in the city since 1977.

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YOU KNOW, this guy coaching at Oregon State looks as if he would have made a great USC coach.

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TODAY’S LAST WORD comes in an e-mail from Ronald:

“You were about as far off in your appraisal of the ESPN audience for Mario Lemieux’s return as you were with those weekend football picks.”

How did I know Lemieux would score more than the Broncos?

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T.J. Simers can be reached at his e-mail address: t.j.simers@latimes.com.