More Than a Birthday: A Memory

Michael Hess of San Bernardino wears a blindfold as he is led through the front door. It’s not really a blindfold, it’s the red belt from his sister’s jacket.

His mom, Heather Hess, and her fiance, Tony Canedo, have been keeping the details of Mikey’s fifth birthday party a secret, not an easy task. Mikey has questioned them relentlessly for months.

Finally the blindfold comes off. Mikey’s big blue eyes take slow inventory. There are significant clues, foremost among them the thick ambrosia of pepperoni and sausage. Children dart through the building like trout in a pond. Flashing lights and casino-like sounds--from heavy thumps to ding, ding, dings--resonate. Then, of course, there’s the big mouse sauntering around like he owns the joint.

“Chuck E. Cheese,” Heather announces. “Are you excited?”

“Can I go play?” he asks and she takes that as a yes, and says sure, so he dashes off to dart with the other trout.

Heather is a dental assistant, and Tony repairs and installs underground water and sewer lines. The party will cost more than $200, and they’re already on a tight budget; but Heather says it’s worth it.

As a child, she never celebrated her birthday with a lot of people or festivity. Her mom would bake a cake, and write something simple with icing from a tube. There would be a small gift or two, they would sing “Happy Birthday,” and that was about it. When she would go to other kids’ parties, with balloons and games, she would envy them.

“I want my kids to remember every birthday they’ll ever have,” she says. “I want them to have more than I had.”

Of Mikey’s first four birthdays, the first one and the last one were way cool. When he turned 1, he got his own cake, which he smeared around until he was such a mess that Heather put him in the tub with his clothes on.

The second and third birthdays were kind of tough. His mom and dad were having problems, resulting in divorce. It was during that period that Mikey wouldn’t leave Heather’s side. He crawled in bed with her every night. When she showered, he sat nearby and waited for her.

By last year, life at home had stabilized. For his birthday they went to the park and celebrated with a pinata. Mikey was guessing they would go to the park again this year.

Like many families, Mikey’s has many aunts and uncles. Some are blood relatives, and some are not. Celebrating his birthday are Heather’s relatives, Tony’s relatives and Heather’s ex-husband’s relatives.

Tony has been in Mikey’s life about a year and a half. Mikey refers to him by first name, but there have been times when he has called him “Dad,” and the feeling that Tony gets when that happens is what helps define this family. It is a family built from love.

Tony’s dad, Antonio Canedo Sr., and wife, Gena, are among the early arrivals. Antonio is wearing an aloha shirt. He isn’t sure he should give his real name--says there are people looking for him. “FBI,” he jokes in a low voice, “and my ex-wife.”

Aunt Lisa is here, but it’s not clear exactly whose aunt she is, not that it matters. What does matter, she says, is that Mikey, a ramblin’ kind of guy, only gave her a peck of a kiss before running off with a paper cup filled with tokens--pizza and soft drink surging through his veins. He favors rides that involve some form of driving, even though it’s difficult to reach the pedals.

Meanwhile, Karl Green, Chuck E. Cheese’s birthday host, is getting ready to perform. A college student, Karl says he loves his job and loves to dance and sing for the children. He puts his own spin on the birthday song.

“I don’t do it the Cheese way,” he says. “I do it my way.”

Karl is a personal friend of Chuck E. Cheese, who, it turns out, isn’t a mouse at all. He’s 17-year-old William Norwood. Karl calls him Chill, short for Chilly as in Willy, which is short for William.

Karl and Chuck lead the family in song and dance. About 20 people are in attendance. The last to arrive is Heather’s Uncle Butch, all the way from Sacramento. When Heather sees him, she screams and almost cries.

They hug, and then Uncle Butch looks over the table at Mikey, who is picking the pepperoni off his pizza.

“Hey, Mikey,” he says, “you old enough to go chase girls yet?”

Mikey ponders the question, then replies that no, he is not.

“I’m only 5.”

He has many expectations of his new age, most of them having to do with starting school. In his fourth year, he learned to ride a bicycle, tie his shoes, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, put in a new trash bag after the old one was taken out.

His old blue blanket, kids’ stuff, was handed down to Makayla, who is 16 months old. It used to be that he couldn’t go anywhere without it, but it was getting pretty ragged, and, besides, turning 5 changes a guy.