Paterno’s Misfortune Too Much to Bear

Rick Morrissey of the Chicago Tribune writes that Penn State Coach Joe Paterno is having a hard time and it doesn’t seem fair.

“Two wins from breaking Bear Bryant’s Division I-A record for career victories, and he’s watching this season swirl toward the drain? It’s like Miss Wisconsin Dairyland finding out she’s lactose intolerant. ...

“Paterno has been stuck on 322 victories for what seems like years, but that number doesn’t seem important now. The important number is this: For the first time in 115 years of Penn State football, the Nittany Lions have started a season with four straight losses.”

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Trivia time: Who was Notre Dame’s first Heisman Trophy winner?

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Same old Albert: The Seattle Mariners might have had an unlikely fan in their playoff defeat of the Cleveland Indians. Roger Brown of the Cleveland Plain Dealer e-mailed retired Indian outfielder Albert Belle and asked him if he was pulling for his former team.

“Belle answered: ‘You are kidding, aren’t you?”’

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Still hungry: Mike Tyson stopped Brian Nielsen in Copenhagen on Saturday night. “Iron Mike’s handlers say he’s ready to get into the ring again soon,” comedy writer Alan Ray told the San Francisco Chronicle. “One Danish just doesn’t fill him up.”

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Which was worse? Steve Hummer in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “Putting the Dallas Cowboys and Washington Redskins on [TV] Monday night was almost too much to bear.

“Here we need an escape and ABC gave us the NFL equivalent of ‘Ishtar.”’

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Homecoming hassle: Illinois plays its 91st homecoming game Saturday against Wisconsin and claims credit for inventing the idea of homecoming back in 1910.

Not so, says Northern Illinois sports information director Mike Korcek, whose school’s homecoming game against Western Michigan also takes place this weekend. Korcek says the Huskies staged their first homecoming in 1906.

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Can it be found? It has been reported that the man who caught Barry Bonds’ 73rd home run ball was offered $1 million.

Said Craig Kilborn of “The Late, Late Show” on CBS: “Not to be outdone, another collector is offering $2 million for a ball caught by the Washington Redskins.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1988, the Dodgers defeated the Athletics, 4-3, in Oakland in the fourth game of the World Series, which Los Angeles won the next day.

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Tell it like it is: ABC sideline reporter Melissa Stark, commenting during the third quarter of the Cowboys’ 9-7 victory over the Redskins: “You may wonder why this game is being shown on Monday night. Frankly, so are we.”

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Trivia answer: Quarterback Angelo Bertelli in 1943.

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And finally: A request by animal-rights activists to get the University of South Carolina to drop its Fighting Gamecock nickname has been rejected by the school president.

South Carolina President John Palms said fighting cocks symbolized honor and merit in China and were considered sacred announcers of the sun in ancient Greece.

They woke up people even then.