It Appears Only the Lakers Can Beat the Lakers

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: Once again, and even more than in their immediate, glorious and only intermittently dysfunctional past, the Lakers and only the Lakers control their destiny.

Should they put everything together and play well, no one else has a chance.

Of course, by now, who around here doesn’t understand how capable they are of coming apart at the seams instead?

What’s it going to be this time, greatness or another what-me-worry, leave-a-wake-up-call-for-April-1, throwaway season? Not even their shrinks know for sure.

Does it matter that this season’s roster is way better than either of the two-time defending champions? Yes, but not as much as chemistry; with these guys, that’s everything.

If Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant are healthy and happy, everybody is in trouble, whether or not Mitch Richmond and Lindsey Hunter make a shot before Christmas. If Bryant and O’Neal are getting along with each other and their coach, everything else will fall in place.

Of course, by now, who around here doesn’t recognize how rare that parlay is?

Take this exhibition season, in which O’Neal and Bryant were bonding in heart-warming fashion ... and Coach Phil Jackson dropped one of his bon mots on O’Neal, zinging him for his (annual) free throw woes ... and O’Neal snarled:

“If people would shut up, I won’t have to change anything. People always talk too much. They’re never satisfied. With two championships, two MVPs. Like that’s not enough.... Some people are never satisfied. You write that. I don’t worry about percentages, I never did. So those who don’t like it, who gives a ... ?”

To which Jackson responded at a luncheon, “He’s been in a bad mood ever since that toe operation.” Then Bryant, who’s so much at peace with everyone around him that Jackson is making him co-captain, laughed at his disdain for Jackson’s triangle offense in his luncheon remarks, noting:

” ... The triangle does win championships in June but, December, January, it’s boring as hell.”

A speech at a preseason luncheon used to go, “Thanks and let’s get ‘em again this season.” No, they don’t do luncheons the way they used to, either.

Look at it this way: If the Lakers were all grown up and just went out and played, it wouldn’t even be interesting.

One thing the Lakers aren’t is uninteresting. As a team, this is often more like a board game.

The Former Zen Master

Happily for Jackson, people stopped calling him Zen Master when he arrived here and began turning a disappointment into a dynasty.

Happily for Jackson, he was successful beyond his wildest dreams.

Unhappily for Jackson, it wasn’t like coaching the Bulls, who were highly professional, whipped into line by the demanding and arch-competitive Michael Jordan. (The exception, of course, was Dennis Rodman.)

Bryant was demanding and arch-competitive too, but when Jackson arrived, Bryant barely knew his teammates.

O’Neal, the natural leader, was more into pacing himself. He played hard but didn’t practice the same way and took summers off. But it was O’Neal’s suggestion, he says, that brought Jackson here, and O’Neal was open to any criticism Jackson leveled, calling Jackson, “my white father.”

Many criticisms later, they had two titles.

Jackson’s authority established the necessary accountability, a huge advantage that came with a coach who didn’t run scared of his stars.

But Jackson wasn’t always gentle. Players being what they are, they may have appreciated zingers in the press less than being snarled at in person.

Once, Jackson completely messed up, when a press confidante went public with what Phil thought was a private conversation, passing on an old story about Bryant “sabotaging” high school games.

Of course, as long as seasons keep ending victoriously, nobody gets too upset....

The Really Big Aristotle

Remember, this was going to be the year Shaq came back under 300 pounds.

But he hurt his little toe and had to settle for coming in under 400. Even if there was grousing in the organization--like, why didn’t he have it fixed a long time ago?--it’s not hard to believe it started bothering him again and he finally had no choice.

It’s also not hard to believe O’Neal is embarrassed about needing time to get in shape again, especially now that they’re champions and Jackson doesn’t cover for him and everyone pays attention to it.

There’s nothing in the game like O’Neal. In Minnesota practices, they now plant a 10-foot-high dummy in the lane to block things up.

“The scary thing,” said Coach Flip Saunders, “is that’s how big Shaq is.”

After one MVP, two finals MVPs and two titles, O’Neal’s legend is similarly impressive, but he remains keenly aware of slights ... like a teammate who doesn’t kiss the ring ... or the single voter who keeps his MVP balloting from being unanimous ... or a coach’s barb.

Of course, O’Neal can get 25 points and 10 rebounds a night while getting in shape and is generally ready, and even making free throws again, by the All-Star break.

You still wonder what’s going on with him. His recent split with his agent, Leonard Armato, was a surprise. The new man, Perry Rogers, is a top hand who made Andre Agassi an advertising icon, but O’Neal did OK with Armato. Seven-footers are notoriously hard to merchandise, but O’Neal’s endorsement income reportedly ran as high as $24 million in 1999, third that year only to Jordan and Tiger Woods.

However, O’Neal never moved as many sneakers or got the kind of push Bryant is getting from Adidas. Bryant has an incredible McDonald’s deal too, but he has advantages as an endorser. He’s medium-sized and he turned pro out of high school, giving him special cachet, especially with burger/sneaker-buying kids.

But, as Bryant learned last season, one may not get everything one wants....

The Golden Child Tries Adulthood

At least, we think Bryant learned that last season.

Besides his personal ambitions and impatience with the offense, he spent last season trying to come to grips with his new stardom.

He told friends he wanted to win the MVP. He told Jackson he hated the offense. He talked of playing elsewhere.

He was intensely protective of his personal life, but it was an open secret his parents had problems with his plans to marry at 22. Ultimately, Joe and Pam moved back to Philadelphia, Bryant married Vanessa and settled down, turning over a new leaf in April and turning the Lakers into a monster.

Having just turned 23, Bryant seems readier to pass, more one of the guys. O’Neal even began campaigning for Bryant’s MVP candidacy.

“Last year I just noticed the frustration and the boredom,” Jackson says. “ ... [Bryant] was in but he wasn’t enthusiastic. He came in enthusiastic, but he didn’t stay that way during training camp.

“We had a conversation early in [last] year and I was able to really gauge where he was at.... There were a lot of things on his wish list that weren’t being met.

“Now I find a young man who is just much more comfortable and knows much more about what’s ahead of him too. He can also read the territory a lot easier now and he’s much more sharing with his teammates, on and off the court.”

Of course, with Bryant, one really never knows, but that’s why they play the season, isn’t it?

There has to be some reason why they play it. These days, this is it.

Meanwhile, Across The Tracks ...

A crowd of 15,485 for a Clipper ... exhibition?

It’s a new day for the Clippers, who have sold 12,000 season tickets, more than the Kings. They have the talent to compete, the flair to entertain and, most important, the youth to block out the bad old days.

Even those who were there for them.

“It’s pretty exciting,” says Eric Piatkowski, an eight-year Clipper whose first six teams averaged 20.5 wins.

“We’re still really young and we’re going to have some tough stretches in the season but it’s nice to know that, night in, night out, the arena’s going to be filled, with a lot of people coming out here to support us....

“In the past sometimes, you’d go out there against the better teams in the league and you’d just tell, guys were thinking, ‘I hope we don’t get blown out tonight.’ ...

“We have a lot better players now. We have a guy like Lamar Odom and he’s a go-to player, he can break guys down, he can do a lot of nice things. We have Elton Brand down on the post now. Last few games, he’s really come around. He’s been a horse down there for us. We have athletic guys who can get out and run. It’s a completely different makeup from the past.”

Well, not completely.

Point guard Jeff McInnis could have been re-signed long-term but was brought back for a year, making him an unrestricted free agent next summer.

Michael Olowokandi turned down an extension. He still may not Get It (he’s supposed to rebound and defend but pines to score) but re-signing him was a low-risk move, since you can always trade an athletic seven-footer.

So, it may be a bright new day but everyone still has a lot to prove, upstairs and down.