Borrowing a Page Out of Lakers’ Workbook

The next time your boss criticizes you for just going through the motions and not giving a full day’s work, look him directly in the eye--like I do Dwyre--and tell him you’re working on the Lakers’ championship plan, and just buzz off.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told Dwyre to “just buzz off,” and I know sooner or later the old coot is going to shuffle off a little slower than I expected and actually hear my parting shot, but then I can’t imagine him getting much slower, so I’m probably already home free.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure both you and I are abused employees--certainly in comparison to the millionaire slackers who play for the Lakers--our bosses demanding the very best from us every day.

Now, as we learned last season from the Lakers’ 15-1 performance in the playoffs, when our heroes do decide to give it their very best effort, they almost never lose.

We’re to blame for this in part--the fawning fans and fawning media, who reward the guys with a parade every time they put in three good weeks of work--a nice send-off as they begin another three-month vacation.

It’s gotten so ridiculous that when these guys do give it everything they have three weeks in a row, each one of them expects a diamond ring in return.

*

IF THE Lakers can go 15-1 against the league’s very best teams at a time when the games mean the most for everyone involved, why can’t they finish something like 77-5 during the regular season?

For that matter, remembering how they kicked away their only playoff loss to Philadelphia in overtime, why can’t a team with Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant, and a bench so deep it has two-time Dream Teamer Mitch Richmond parked on it, dominate every night?

“Because they’re too rich,” said Chick Hearn, who has broadcast 3,317 consecutive Laker games, making him somewhat of an expert on motivation and someone who also might have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to take an occasional night off.

The Lakers take a lot of nights off. Last season, they lost almost one of every three games they played--writing it off to internal conflict and injuries.

And yet when they had to win--finishing the regular season with eight consecutive wins to better position themselves in the playoffs--they topped that off with a near-perfect record in the playoffs. When they make the commitment, they’re unbeatable.

“It’d be sad to go 73-8 and then lose in the second round of the playoffs,” said O’Neal, who apparently has already decided not to play the 82nd game of the season.

Who says a team has to lose in the playoffs after going 73-8? Why can’t a team play hard all season long, and still win the title?

O’Neal said, “I can’t look that far ahead,” when asked why the Lakers haven’t set their sights on the Bulls’ mark of 72 regular-season wins, but just as quickly, he added, “This is the best talent I’ve played with since I’ve been here on paper.”

All that talent had Portland calling time out after time out Tuesday after the Lakers made it clear they were excited about playing again, running out to a 21-6 lead, then 44-29, and looking like a team incapable of losing. So why not put that talent to work every night, and challenge themselves to do something extraordinary?

“There’s no reason why this team couldn’t win 70 games if everyone stays healthy,” said Paul Sunderland, Fox Sports Net and NBC’s hard-working NBA expert, while also agreeing they won’t. “But the measure in sports is winning a championship--just ask the Seattle Mariners.”

The Mariners, after winning 116 games and never making it to the World Series, will now be the poster excuse for every group of athletes accused of pacing themselves, while promising to turn it on when it really counts.

The Yankees, however, who had the American League mark before the Mariners, had enough in the tank to win it all. The 72-10 Bulls won an NBA title after breaking the 1971-72 Laker mark of 69 wins, and that team capped everything off with a title.

“There’s no reason why we have to start slow and pick it up towards the middle,” said Derek Fisher, who is still on the mend. “We’re a professional basketball team and we get paid to go out and play hard every game.”

If the Lakers really did that--as much talent as they have--they might go undefeated, and what a team for the ages that would be.

*

THE CLIPPERS, the best team at home last season in the NBA after the All-Star break, will be in Staples Center for 24 of their first 33 games, and will travel no farther west than Denver, San Antonio and Houston in that time. How about a 22-11 start for the Clippers to really make things interesting?

*

IN A devastating move that could damage USC for years to come, the NCAA Football Study Oversight Committee said Tuesday it opposes a plan that would allow teams with a .500 record to qualify for a bowl game.

*

ANYONE WHO believes Disney honk Paul Pressler’s suggestion that part of the criteria for selling the money-losing Angels is the company’s insistence on finding a quality owner for Anaheim, please raise your magic wand. Michael Eisner would sell the Angels to Michael Ovitz if he had the cash.

*

TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Bob:

“With all the great columnists of the past it’s a shame they couldn’t find someone to carry on the tradition... the way you pick on USC ... I just wanted to let you know I have cancelled my subscription to The Times with the caveat I will be back when you’re gone.”

And I was getting ready to call it quits unless you stopped bugging me.

*

TODAY’S LAST-last word comes from Jim & Joyce Roberts:

“Please keep on bashing Southern Cal. If you stop, we’ll cancel our subscription.”

If that’s what it takes to keep you happy...

*

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com