LAUGH LINES

Building Blocks: “Scientists said they can now make houses out of Styrofoam.... Is that a big deal? Making houses out of Styrofoam? ... Homeless people have been doing that for years, haven’t they?” (Jay Leno)

True Colors: Homeland Security chief Tom Ridge “announced a new color-coded alarm system. Green means everything’s OK. Red means we’re in extreme danger.

“And champagne-fuchsia means we’re being attacked by Martha Stewart.” (Conan O’ Brien)

Stopping Traffic: “New York City will place fake TV cameras on Manhattan street corners to give pause to speeding drivers. The cameras look totally real.

“Yesterday, traffic was snarled for hours when they couldn’t get Liza Minnelli out of the intersection.” (Argus Hamilton)

Cheating 101: “Oregon State University is now going to be offering a course this spring called the Enron Implosion. It’s going to have various speakers come in and discuss the rise and fall of Enron to the students.

“In fact, it’s supposed to be a pretty realistic class. Kids will actually get extra credit for cheating on the exam.” (Leno)

*

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012.