The Hubris, the Too Proud, the Lakers

Ah, their day of reckoning, at last.

If pride goeth before a fall, the Lakers were actually in trouble a long time before this week, full of themselves to the bursting point, even as they seemed to cheat the process with their new Wake-Me-in-April routine.

Hubris was piled atop arrogance. Laker players talked up a storm, were never scared, never played with any sense of urgency. Nor, after starting 16-1, did they scare anyone else, except with their reputations.

A year ago, their operative word was “dysfunctional,” but now, despite inner peace and a better team, in the absence of any momentum, it became “vulnerable.”

Not that any of them was really concerned, of course. That was the real problem from the get-go:

Shaquille O’Neal shows up at 375 pounds or so after toe surgery, injures another toe and limps through a season he finally concedes was “kind of dismal,” on one of the increasingly infrequent days he talks....

Phil Jackson trots out more of his famous smack, wondering how Portland fans can root for players so lacking in character, perhaps forgetting his three years in Chicago, sticking up for the Role Model from Hell, Dennis Rodman....

Jackson notes after Game 1 of the current second-round series against San Antonio, in which the Lakers trailed, 38-32, at halftime, that he “never had a worse performance for a half out of a basketball club in the playoffs.” ...

In Game 2, his basketball club trails by 21 before halftime, presumably another new low.

It’s not surprising the Lakers, having overcome last season’s problems to win 39 of 41 (23-1 last spring, 16-1 in fall), were sucked into this cult of themselves.

O’Neal and Kobe Bryant, seemingly destined to feud forever with temporary truces, were now friends. Derek Fisher was a threat and Devean George was a player. They had more size, depth and athleticism.

It added up to a huge margin for error ... which they then came perilously close to using up.

While falling for themselves, they lost respect for their rivals but the Spurs weren’t beneath contempt, after all, even if the Lakers humiliated them last spring and won in San Antonio this season without O’Neal.

This postseason wasn’t another glory run, but the Lakers’ nightmare scenario. Without his old explosiveness, O’Neal was averaging 24 points and 12 rebounds, fine, except in comparison to the 30-15 his last two postseasons.

If you wanted to hear him speak, you had to watch one of his burger or candy commercials on TV (he doesn’t eat all that stuff, does he?). He seemed to hurt something else every game and, taking him at his word about cutting himself trying to climb a wall a la Spider-Man, even going to the movies wasn’t safe.

Meanwhile, in a suggestion of how unconcerned his teammates were, they barely bothered to throw the ball in to him, at least until the other team got way ahead.

In another tip-off things weren’t right, Shaq, who always complained when it happened before, never mentioned it.

After Game 2, when he took seven rebounds, Jackson asked him to turn it up and told the press about it, an old Phil tactic, further noting their talk had been “heated.”

Later, of course, after O’Neal showed his displeasure, Jackson downgraded it to “give and take,” joking that the press corps--which tapes his every word--had messed it up again.

Leaving out the part where he tries to lay it off on us, this was Jackson at his finest. This trick works, most famously when Scottie Pippen took himself out of that 1994 playoff game and Jackson, who could have covered it up, told the press without being asked, after which a chastened Pippen bounced right back.

Of course, your modern, highly-indulged megastar doesn’t like to be embarrassed ... or asked to do something ... or, often, asked anything at all, and O’Neal’s reaction last week (“Ask Phil, he knows every ... thing”) showed he wasn’t laughing this one off.

O’Neal’s saving grace is knowing when to let his inner child out to play Spider-Man and when he has to be a grown-up, as he was in his redefining-moment Game 3, even as Bryant carried them in a glimpse of the Laker future, and O’Neal and Jackson argued on the bench again.

Of course, O’Neal has a lot going on, with the playoffs and the summer releases. Now he has to fight off the Spurs the same week “Attack of the Clones” opens.

If Shaq can refrain from going after Phil with a light saber and take it out on the Spurs, that’s character, the only thing that will save the Lakers.

Faces and Figures

Forget China’s Yao Ming being a reedy 7 feet 5, 236 pounds. The NBA put out a sheet with those measurements, in error. The correct weight is 296. In other words, the Shawn Bradley comparisons are off again.... Just your average postseason in Philadelphia, except no one has left (yet): Coach Larry Brown blasted Allen Iverson for missing a practice during the 76ers’ first-round loss to the Celtics and raised the possibility of trading him (“You can’t have a team, you can’t do anything the right way, if everybody is not responsible enough and sensitive enough to their teammates to be on time, to practice, to prepare”). Last week, Iverson gave an especially engaging/clueless performance, even for him, railing during his own news conference: “I’m supposed to be the franchise player and we’re in here talking about practice. Not a game--we’re talking about practice. How silly is that? ... Franchise players’ daughters don’t have to go to school and hear, ‘Is your daddy coming back? What’s going on with your daddy and Coach Brown?’ I mean, she’s 7 years old and that’s what she’s got to deal with, you know what I’m saying?” The next day, Brown had another news conference, joked that Iverson had used the word “practice” more than he had actually practiced this season, but announced he wouldn’t be traded. Said Brown: “I told him, ‘You can tell your daughter not to worry about it, Daddy’s going to be living [in Philadelphia].’” Brown continues to insist he’s staying too.

As usual, Michael Jordan has dropped out of sight in the off-season, declining all interview requests, leaving a lot of unanswered questions, such as: 1) Are you coming back? and 2) Should we buy season tickets? Said titular General Manager Wes Unseld: “When Michael makes his decision, everybody will hear from him, I’m sure.” In other words, “What do you want from me?” ... So much for the return of the Bad Boys and the Celtic Mystique, or meet the Worse Boys and the Celtic Mistake: In Friday’s 66-64 thriller, the Celtics (who won, for the record) and Pistons broke the post-shot clock record for lowest-scoring playoff game--by 12 points. Wrote the Boston Globe’s Michael Holley: “This was one of those times when you didn’t want to share your favorite team with the rest of America. You hoped that everyone outside of New England and Michigan had other Friday night plans.” Meanwhile, Antoine Walker called it a “great game” but added, “We know the shots won’t always be there so we may have to win like this.” Speaking for the rest of the country, better make other plans this morning because these two beasts are going again.

Disappointed Pacer Reggie Miller noted the Nets’ “young guys stepped up and our young guys didn’t. Our young guys didn’t respond when they had to. That’s discouraging to me because I thought we had the best young guys in the league.” This looks like it was meant for Jermaine O’Neal, guarded by Kenyon Martin, who outscored him, 82-56, in Games 2-5. Meanwhile, Pacer President Donnie Walsh served notice Isiah Thomas can’t cite his players’ youth any more. “From my standpoint, the young stuff is over,” Walsh said. “That’s why it was important to get in the playoffs. Now every player on our team has an idea what this is really all about.” Insiders say hiring Thomas was the owners’ idea, not Walsh’s, and Thomas’ honeymoon is over.... Oops: Chris Childs, believing the Raptors trailed by four points with 4.9 seconds left in their Game 5 loss in Detroit, fired up a two-point shot, missed and bristled when asked about it. “It was 85-81. Next question,” Childs snapped. Actually, it was 85-82, and the next question is where Childs, a free agent, will be next season.... Line of the week from TNT’s studio show. Ernie Johnson: “Here’s NBC’s Saturday schedule.” Voice in the background, either Kenny Smith or Charles Barkley: “Like we care.”