Offbeat Youth Gambles With Traffic While Playing Solitaire in the Street

One joker wild? The police log of the Seal Beach Sun reported that “a juvenile was seen pulling over a white sports utility vehicle and getting out to play solitaire in the street” at close to midnight. “The juvenile stated that he was just relaxing.”

Just in time for summer: When I glanced at the ad Karen Trisko of Laguna Niguel sent my way, I thought it might be a high-tech creation for nude beaches (see accompanying).

Actually, it’s for cars that don’t mind baring all.

What’s the use of trying? Adele Rathbone of Torrance forwarded a notice from an employer who doesn’t seem to want workers with any incentive (see accompanying). As for the second sentence of the ad, I guess after they’ve been canned, they would be free to travel.

No offense, dad: I’m still debating over a Father’s Day special snapped last year in Alaska (see photo).

Driving forces: Greeters along roadsides have long been a feature of California, including:

* Old Joe Lucas, a Portuguese fisherman who used to greet stagecoaches as they passed through Laguna Beach more than a century ago.

* Lucas was succeeded in that town by Eiler Larsen (since immortalized with a statue) and more recently by a character named No. 1 Archer (it’s on his driver’s license; his mother couldn’t figure out what to name him).

* The Waving Man, who stood on a street corner in Berkeley for three decades, waving to passersby and crying out, “Have a good day!” and “You keep smiling!”

* Larry Green, who became a character on the Howard Stern show after gaining attention as a guy who held up thoughts-for-the-day on signs on Melrose Avenue.

Now, columnist David Allen of the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin has found another species of greeter in Upland. He calls him the Nose-Holding Man. Nose shows up every morning on a Foothill Boulevard street corner, holding his schnoz as his way of shaming passing drivers about smog.

“We’re a toilet that needs to be flushed,” Nose told Allen. “I hate to sound so damn negative, but who can be positive with this damn dirty air?”

Maybe he should play solitaire.

Stupid criminal tricks: At a video rental outlet, the Long Beach Press-Telegram’s “Crime Watch” reported, “someone broke the skylight. As he climbed down, he broke his watch and cut himself, leaving blood on the skylight. After tipping over a video rack, the alarm went off and scared him away.”

Some days are like that.

Expurgated resumes: U.S. Olympic Committee President Sandra Baldwin is the latest official to resign after fibbing about her academic credentials. I was reminded of my late colleague Nieson Himmel, who admitted that he also misled employers about his education when he came West after World War II to seek a newspaper job--but he misled them in a different way.

In those days, the hard-drinking, poker-playing city editors wanted nothing to do with “smarty-pants college boys,” as they called them (in so many words). So, Himmel led them to believe he had nothing but a high school diploma when he was, in fact, a college graduate.

Dueling careers: I’m always hesitant about accepting an invitation to speak, partly because I invariably become tongue-tied and partly because some spectators expect to see Steve Harvey, the movie star.

Still, I spoke during career day at my son’s school, Fremont Elementary. Sure enough, a couple of the kids came looking for the other Steve. But I got through it OK.

I kept my remarks short and urged the kids to do the talking. And I remembered the sober advice my son Jamie gave me as a first-grader when I last appeared at Fremont: “Don’t tell any of your jokes or you might get a time-out.”

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miscelLAny: Have a great Memorial Day Sale! Oh, it’s only called Memorial Day? Guess I’ve been listening to too many commercials.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve .harvey@latimes.com.