League Has Multiplied Into Long Divisions

New season, new team, new divisions, new rivalries. What the world needs now is an NFL Realignment Primer ...

AFC EAST

New lineup: Buffalo, Miami, New England, New York Jets.

Who moved? Indianapolis got shipped to the AFC South. Eighteen years after pulling out of Baltimore, the Colts get their comeuppance.

Geographically correct? Almost. City of Baltimore emerged from NFL realignment still east of Buffalo.

Realignment winner: Buffalo. Had they wanted to borrow a page from the old Soviet playbook, the NFL czars could have easily grouped Buffalo together with Pittsburgh, Cincinnati and Cleveland to form Siberia East. Instead, the czars were merciful and the Bills get to keep their annual, and vital, weekend passes to sunny Miami.

Realignment loser: New England Coach Bill Belichick, who must not have been told Buffalo was not AFC North-bound before he agreed to trade Drew Bledsoe to the Bills.

Best new rivalry: Bledsoe versus Belichick.

How they’ll finish: Patriots (underrated again), Dolphins (new running back, same finish), Jets (Vinny Testaverde turns 39 in November), Bills (I fear for Drew Bledsoe).

AFC NORTH

New lineup: Baltimore, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Pittsburgh.

Who moved? This is two-thirds of the old AFC Central, with Jacksonville and Tennessee sliding to the AFC South.

Geographically correct? Hardly. Entire division is south of Buffalo and Boston.

Realignment winner: Pittsburgh. With Tennessee gone, and Baltimore picking up the pieces from a salary cap that went boom, Steelers look a lock for first place.

Realignment loser: Cincinnati. Bengals’ petition to move to the Mid-American Conference was denied.

Best new rivalry: Brian Billick (reality 2002) versus Brian Billick (legend in his own mind).

How they’ll finish: Steelers (could go 6-0 in the North), Browns (unless Kelly Holcomb is still starting in October), Ravens (unless Jeff Blake isn’t starting by October), Bengals (same as it ever was).

AFC SOUTH

New lineup: Houston, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Tennessee.

Who moved? Everybody. Indianapolis moved from the AFC East. Jacksonville and Tennessee moved from the AFC Central. Houston moved in after Los Angeles refused to move on the NFL’s expansion offer.

Geographically correct? Not quite. Miami looks up at the entire division.

Realignment winner: Indianapolis, which suddenly has a chance to finish first. Not so had the Colts stayed in the East.

Realignment loser: Los Angeles. Those guys with the cows on their heads getting plowed by the Cowboys today? L.A., they could have been all yours.

Best new rivalry: Indianapolis versus Tennessee. Peyton Manning goes home.

How they’ll finish: Titans (provided Eddie George holds up through December), Colts (Tony Dungy knows defense), Jaguars (Fred Taylor injury watch begins today), Texans (well, they look better than Carolina).

AFC WEST

New lineup: Denver, Kansas City, Oakland, San Diego.

Who moved? Seattle, returning to its birthplace, the NFC West.

Geographically correct? Yes. And it still will be--NFL leaders have vision--when the Chargers move to Los Angeles.

Realignment winner: San Diego, which nearly was switched to the NFC West, where the Chargers would have spent the rest of their days looking up at St. Louis and San Francisco.

Realignment loser: Seattle, where the Seahawks will spend the rest of their days looking up at St. Louis and San Francisco.

Best new rivalry: Brian Griese versus Steve Beuerlein. Suddenly, the Broncos have quarterback issues.

How they’ll finish: Broncos (depending on the outcome of Griese-Beuerlein), Raiders (welcome to Network Associates Coliseum, where every game’s the Senior Bowl), Chargers (Brees is the right move), Chiefs (Priest Holmes: man or mirage?).

NFC EAST

New lineup: Dallas, New York Giants, Philadelphia, Washington.

Who moved? Arizona, to the NFC West. Assuming anyone noticed.

Geographically correct? Dallas east of San Francisco, Seattle, Arizona and that’s it.

Realignment winner: Dallas, which preserved all its old NFC East rivalries and resisted crazed notion to dump Cowboys in with Houston, Arizona and New Orleans to form the NFC Southwest.

Realignment loser: Everyone will miss those home-and-homes with the Cardinals.

Best new rivalry: Steve Spurrier versus everybody.

How they’ll finish: Eagles (but the Super Bowl can wait), Redskins (one way or the another, Spurrier’s going to be great fun), Giants (get the ball to Shockey), Cowboys (one more time: Quincy Carter).

NFC NORTH

New lineup: Chicago-Champaign, Detroit, Green Bay, Minnesota.

Who moved? Tampa Bay high-tailed it to the NFC South, and could hardly wait.

Geographically correct? Yes, although from the Chicago Bears’ fan perspective, that 150-mile drive south to Champaign is pushing it.

Realignment winner: Detroit. Guaranteed to move up from fifth place this season.

Realignment loser: Chicago. Bears will play all home games in Champaign until construction workers realign Soldier Field.

Best new rivalry: Bear fans versus Sunday traffic.

How they’ll finish: Packers (until Terry Glenn goes down and out and doesn’t come back), Bears (Champaign loves Chris Chandler), Vikings (higher if Mike Tice somehow can get Randy Moss’ attention), Lions (Harrington-McMahon an improvement over Detmer-Batch).

NFC SOUTH

New lineup: Atlanta, Carolina, New Orleans, Tampa Bay.

Who moved? NFL took all the teams in NFC West that shouldn’t have been in NFC West and put them with Tampa Bay.

Geographically correct? Yes, and Falcons, Panthers and Saints say it’s about time.

Realignment winner: Tampa Bay. No more questions about why the Buccaneers can’t win a cold-weather division game on the road.

Realignment loser: Carolina. Six times in this division in 2002.

Best new rivalry: Atlanta versus Tampa Bay. Warrick Dunn, anyone?

How they’ll finish: Buccaneers (NFC South’s only team to have won more than seven games last season), Falcons (Michael Vick’s a year away, assuming he gets there in one piece), Saints (it’s all on Aaron Brooks now), Panthers (last season’s 1-15 looking awfully good now).

NFC WEST

New lineup: Arizona, St. Louis, San Francisco, Seattle.

Who moved? Sixty percent of the NFC West--Falcons, Saints, Panthers--went south, a little sooner than the norm during the regular season. Arizona came in from the NFC East. Seattle returned home after 25 years in the AFC West.

Geographically correct? They finally got it right, except for the Rams. Anaheim is west of Dallas. St. Louis is not.

Realignment winner: St. Louis and San Francisco (tie). Rams and 49ers look playoff-bound through the decade.

Realignment loser: Seattle. Seahawks might have had a chance this season in the AFC West.

Best new rivalry: St. Louis versus Arizona, which stole the Cardinals from St. Louis, which is why St. Louis stole the Rams from Anaheim.

How they’ll finish: Rams (no one’s really worried about that 0-4 exhibition season, right?), 49ers (hey, they’re already 1-0), Seahawks (new uniforms look good), Cardinals (and they say there’s no stability in the NFL today).