Palmer’s No. 1 Priority Is Quickly Accomplished

In “Annie Hall,” Woody Allen says the only cultural advantage to Los Angeles is you can turn right on a red light.

Yeah, USC quarterback Carson Palmer might add, but you have to sit in traffic for 20 minutes just to get to the corner.

Palmer, who will be selected No. 1 today by Cincinnati, spiced up his introductory news conference Thursday with a little L.A. bashing. He groused about the gridlock. He claimed he hardly ever read the sports page or watched local TV sports reports, saying the negativity brought him down. And who could put up with the hustle and bustle of the nation’s second-largest city? Not him.

In Cincinnati, that made for the best radio since WKRP.

“He made an unbelievably favorable impression,” said Dave Lapham, a former Bengal lineman turned color commentator. “If his personality were different, people might see it as calculated that he made those comments. He was believable.”

Already, Palmer has made a connection with the fans, something another USC quarterback was never able to do.

Rob Johnson, whose Trojan records Palmer eclipsed, never won over the fans in Buffalo. He always was seen as an outsider, a guy who didn’t want to be there, a GQ-ready Keanu Reeves in cleats.

Even though Johnson was well liked by many of the Bills and quietly made lots of contributions to local charities, he never really felt at home in Western New York. He never bought a house there, despite the advice of Jim Kelly, and fans knew he would trade the shores of Lake Erie for the California coast in a heartbeat.

Not so for Palmer. He has made it clear he has washed his hands of California, that he can’t wait to pack up and leave for a place many folks in that part of the country consider the world’s largest small town. The newest Cincinnati kid made the place sound like Petticoat Junction in his news conference.

“I don’t really do a whole lot; I think I’ll fit in well here as opposed to L.A.,” said Palmer, demonstrating he can dole out left-handed compliments to go with his right-handed touchdown passes. “I’m ready to get out of L.A. It’s too up-tempo for me.”

Palmer came across as what he is: a sincere, polite kid doing everything he can to ingratiate himself with his new football family. He showed humility too, calling starting quarterback Jon Kitna his mentor and referring to himself as a “young punk rookie.”

“He’s a smart kid,” former Cincinnati receiver Cris Collinsworth said. “He’s obviously had somebody coaching him. When you go through the Heisman Trophy onslaught, it makes you a little more sophisticated. He knows how to handle himself.”

The way Collinsworth sees it, the Bengals are finally catching on to the error of their ways. They used to rush rookies onto the field -- as they did with first-round quarterbacks David Klingler and Akili Smith -- and heap expectations on their shoulders. With Palmer, they seem to be taking a more realistic approach. The plan is to let him learn behind Kitna for a year before handing over the offense to him.

“I think they’ve finally gotten it right around here,” Collinsworth said. “In the past, they’d expect these young kids to turn the whole franchise around. There are no quick fixes in Cincinnati. They’ve hired Marvin Lewis for the long-term. They’ve drafted a quarterback for the long-term. They’ve signed him early, and they’ve really lowered the expectations for what Carson Palmer will be able to do in the short-term.”

It’s a shame Palmer has forsaken California. Otherwise, the 6-foot-5 slinger could be Cincinnati’s Big Rad Machine. Now, he’s just No. 9. Humble, clean-cut, wholesome and probably in agreement with actor Russell Crowe, who said: “I’d move to Los Angeles if New Zealand and Australia were swallowed up by a tidal wave, if there was a bubonic plague in England and if the continent of Africa disappeared from some Martian attack.”

Either that stuff happens, or Cincinnati wins a Super Bowl. Whichever comes first.

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Now that Palmer is a lock at No. 1, the draft really starts with Detroit on the clock at No. 2. Michigan State receiver Charles Rogers seems like the logical pick -- some scouts have compared him to Randy Moss, and he’s already a hometown star -- but the Lions need help in lots of areas. Kansas State cornerback Terence Newman has to be tempting.

Lion Coach Steve Mariucci might have tipped his hand this week, though, when talking about Rogers.

“He’ll be one of the fastest players in the league,” Mariucci said. “Over and above that, there is something to be said about having a local guy on your football team.... He’s going to be good in the community for this city.”

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The New York Jets made a bold move Friday, trading the Nos. 13 and 22 picks to Chicago for the Bears’ fourth overall. The Jets are believed to be eyeing Kentucky defensive tackle Dewayne Robertson, although they also need a receiver. If either Rogers or Miami’s Andre Johnson is available when that fourth pick rolls around, the Jets might look to replace receiver Laveranues Coles, now playing for Washington.

Four teams hold two first-round picks: Chicago (Nos. 13, 22), New England (Nos. 14, 19), New Orleans (Nos. 17, 18) and Oakland (Nos. 31, 32).

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Associated Press contributed to this report.