Who’s Really the One With the Problem Here?

While waiting in line at a Santa Ana toy store, my son, the cub reporter, overheard a story that was in keeping with the shopping craziness of the weekend:

A woman told her companion that her boy’s behavior was so bad she had taken him to a psychiatrist, but the visit hadn’t worked out as she had expected. Groused the woman: “The psychiatrist said I needed a psychiatrist more than my son did.”

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I beg your pardon! Nancy McAnany of Playa del Rey saw a juxtaposition of signs at a rest stop that made her stop and smile (see photo).

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OK, some say we are what we eat ... : But until he received a letter from General Electric, Mike Roberts of Lakewood had never heard anyone theorize that we are our appliances (see accompanying).

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Hospital admission? “Of course the hospital ‘resents’ the seminar,” writes David Rice of San Clemente, referring to one blurb he sent along (see accompanying). “It will keep potential patients from getting sick.”

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Traffic obstacle du jour: One bale of hay on the San Bernardino Freeway in Alhambra, causing a slowdown of the horseless carriages in the area.

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Problems on the Westside: The latest threat to the good life in Pacific Palisades, in the opinion of some residents, is a group of newcomers -- a band of parrots. But those who squawked about the birds in letters to the Palisadian-Post were rebuked by a neighbor, who wrote: “Can anyone suggest a way to get rid of people who hate parrots? The surprise is that one can hear parrots above the din of leaf blowers, helicopters and speeding SUVs.”

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Speaking of negative thinking: After I printed an excerpt of an old quatrain that once hung in innumerable doughnut shops, Dr. Terrence Taylor of Laguna Beach sent me the complete version. Quoth Taylor:

As you travel on through life, brother,

Whatever be your goal,

Keep your eye upon the doughnut,

And not upon the hole.

“The preservation of the meter is essential, even in doggerel,” Taylor explained.

When discussing food, I’m generally against preservatives, but I believe he has a point.

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miscelLAny: On the other hand, taking into account changing dietary habits, I think one line in the poem should be updated to say: “Keep your eye upon the bagel.... “

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.