It’s Been an Unfriendly Year of Business

I’ve been reading the business pages a little more closely of late, because I keep hearing how important it is to create a more friendly business environment.

On Thursday, for instance, I turned to The Times business page to educate myself, and here’s the first headline I saw:

Bank Sues Ex-Global

Crossing Executives

Hey, there’s one bad apple in every bunch. I moved on to the next headline.

Interscope Gets Credit

for Music It Didn’t Make

Is there any good news in this section? I turned to Page C3.

Former HealthSouth Exec

Gets Prison in Fraud Case

There must be some mistake.

Ex-Execs at Nicor

Energy Face Charges

Innocent until proven guilty, I always say.

Medco Defends Itself

Against Federal Charges

I should hope so.

Freddie Mac Agrees

to Pay $125-Million Fine

Is he related to Bernie Mac?

Ford to Offer System

to Curb SUV Rollovers

They’re going to weld on Pintos as training wheels.

Goodyear Finds More

Accounting Problems

And the blimp just crashed near Carson. Not a good week.

Reliant Expects Result

of Probe by February

Yeah, but it’s easy to accuse someone of fixing electricity prices. That’s why we need fewer regulations, as Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger keeps insisting.

Exhausted, I flipped the page but C5 offered no relief.

Quattrone Again Seeks

to Admit Evidence

The former Credit Suisse First Boston banker is gearing up for a second trial on obstruction of justice charges.

Grand Jury to Consider

Case Against Wal-Mart

The discount chain that’s the new model for U.S. commerce is accused of using undocumented immigrants to clean the floor. Will Wal-Mart defend itself with discount attorneys?

If I were an artist, I think my next exhibit would be a collage of headlines from the business pages. I asked Vicki Gallay of our library staff for help in finding corporate scandal headlines from 2003, just from The Times. A partial list was 19 pages.

By the time I finished reading it, I wasn’t so sure this business-friendly strategy was the way to go, either in Sacramento or Washington. Maybe we need fewer Chamber of Commerce rallies and more prosecutors.

The parade of headlines began on Jan. 1, of course, when we rang in the year on a familiar note.

Enron Probe

Likely to Expand

Turns out Ken Lay was a corporate role model.

Adelphia’s Rigas

to Give Up Homes

The indicted John Rigas was forced to get by without 34 condos, apartments and vacation homes bought with company money as Adelphia headed for bankruptcy.

I could almost write a Christmas song from these headlines. Forget the maids a-milking and the geese a-laying. We’ve had:

5 HealthSouth

Officers A-Pleading.

4 Ex-Execs at

Evergreen Convicted.

3 Dynegy Execs A-Lying.

2 Ex-Enron, Merrill

Workers Conspiring.

And a Tenet CEO Indicted

If corporate thievery and malfeasance haven’t already depleted your retirement account, or zapped the kids’ college fund, it’s hard to know where to put your money. But the mattress is a better bet than a mutual fund.

Spitzer, SEC Charge

Invesco, CEO

Other fund companies

could face similar action

Yes, including Alliance Capital, Bank of America, Bank One, Charles Schwab, Federated Investors, Janus Capital Group, Pilgrim Baxter, Prudential Securities, and Putnam Investments, all of which were in the news.

Thankfully, I’m with Morgan Stanley.

Oh, wait a second.

Fund Scandal Spreads

Morgan Stanley to pay $50

million over secret payments it received from 14 companies to steer business their way

I got so upset when I read that, I thought I better turn down the lights and play some soft music to lower my blood pressure.

Former Craig CEO

Convicted of Fraud

He is found guilty of falsifying records to get a $40-million credit line for stereo maker

Tell me there’s still someone out there I can trust.

Tell me that when the day is done, it’s not just about greed.

I know I’ve barely skimmed the surface, but I can’t look at another business headline. My eyes are bloodshot, so I’m on my way to buy some Visine.

Former Rite-Aid

Exec Is Convicted

Maybe I better go somewhere else.

Ex-Kmart Executives Indicted

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with this country. We need a more friendly business environment.

Steve Lopez writes Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.