With Malice Toward Nuns, Arnold’s Army Marches On

Arnold’s Army came to Arcadia Friday morning, and the scene was like nothing I can remember in recent political history.

As I tried to park, and realized that one lot after another was jammed, the teeming masses streamed by me on foot, marching, marching, marching, trance-like, as if to a revival.

Old folks, young folks, moms and dads pushing strollers. Arnold Schwarzenegger, great terminator of evildoers, was coming to the Los Angeles Arboretum to vanquish sorrow, discomfort and the car tax.

A plane circled overhead, dragging a sign:

“Hasta La Vista, Davis.”

Upon entering, I noticed a striking blond woman in tan leather chaps and cowboy hat. She was a Coldwell Banker real estate agent, and, of course, an actress.

“I was the lead bad girl in ‘Octopussy,’ ” said Kristina Wayborn, who held a poodle named Honey Bear.

Honey Bear wore a red, white and blue kerchief.

Why Arnold? I asked Wayborn.

Fresh ideas, she said.

Name one, I said.

Yanking driver’s licenses out of the hands of illegals, she said, going on to add that she’d like to see a conservative change, and Arnold’s just the man.

Wayborn said she’s known Arnold for 20 years, and was never groped by him. “And I had a certain gropability factor in those days,” she said. I told her she still did, catching a bit of the Arnold spirit.

The actress Tia Carrere (“Wayne’s World”) also came to Arnold’s defense in the wake of a Thursday L.A. Times story in which six women say they were groped and humiliated by Arnold between 1970 and 2000.

“I had a kissing scene with him,” said Carrere, “and he was never anything but a gentleman.”

At times, I pinch myself these days. Am I watching a gubernatorial campaign, or dreaming about an episode of “The Love Boat”?

A man carried a sign imploring people to cancel their subscription to The Times, and the talk radio hosts who introduced Carrere also bashed us.

The truth is available only on AM talk radio these days, and I think a couple of recruits in Arnold’s Army did what they had to do. They spotted protest signs in the crowd and goose-stepped over to take care of business.

Not that they could have known, but the signs were carried by two Catholic nuns in their 60s. According to the nuns, their attackers snatched them away.

The silencing of dissent, coming just a day after Arnold denied reports that he once said he admired Hitler, had the nuns trembling.

“A sign was ripped from my hands,” said Jo’Ann DeQuattro, a Holy Name sister whose sign said, “Groping Equals Sexual Harassment.”

“I was assaulted physically,” said Sister Jo’Ann.

She and Sister France White, of the Holy Child order, were headed for the exits when I saw them. Sister France had taped a sign to herself that said “Grope Free Zone.” Sister Jo’Ann had her arm around Sister France to protect her.

Sister France said she gave a “groping” protest sign to a man who held a “Recall Arnold” sign, and watched as he was set upon and had the sign ripped away from him.

“People began fighting with him, and he was escorted out,” said Sister France.

As for her own sign getting swiped, Sister France said:

“I believe a woman standing behind me grabbed it. A whole group of people were around us saying, ‘Go home’ and things like ‘Get a life.’ ”

Sister France still had the “Grope Free Zone” sign taped to her when they decided to leave the rally, so Sister Jo’Ann suggested an exit strategy.

“She was afraid there was going to be more of it, so she said, ‘We’ve gotta get out of here,’ and walked behind me, real close behind, so Schwarzenegger followers wouldn’t be hitting me as we left.”

I’m happy to report that the nuns made it home safely to Pasadena.

I’d also like to report that Arnold of Arcadia delivered another brief yet flawless performance -- cathartic, perfectly scripted, spiritually liberating ...

And content-free.

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Steve Lopez can be reached at steve.lopez@latimes.com.