Broad Has Taken Us Down This Road Before

When I hear Eli Broad’s name, the first person who comes to mind is Paris Hilton, and it has nothing to do with Broad’s last name, which is not pronounced the way you might think.

Broad’s our resident rich guy, a headline maker who’s living “The Simple Life” these days just giving away his money.

Forbes magazine has him pegged as the eighth wealthiest Californian, and ARTnews listed Broad as one of the world’s top 10 collectors of art, which means he must have a copy of Hilton’s work on videotape. Just another example of the rich getting richer.

Pick up the newspaper, and it’s obvious both rich kids, Broad and Hilton, have a real knack for getting attention. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if we were told later it was Broad, the savior, who called The Times to let it be known he had sent a letter to the Fox Group offering to buy the Dodgers if the Boston parking lot attendant’s deal collapses.

You see, I’ve had experience with Broad. I wish it had been with Hilton, but to date she’s expressed no interest in bringing a football team to L.A., probably a little put off by the way we treated the last floozy who had a football team here.

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IF YOU recall, Broad was going to return the NFL to L.A. a few years ago after everyone else had failed. He called a news conference to say so. The league awarded an expansion franchise to L.A., but when it came time to write a check and put the Los Angeles Broads on the field, the billionaire balked.

Last year he said he was willing to put up $600 million along with New York sports executive Dave Checketts to buy the Dodgers. For some reason this billionaire never seems to close the deal, which might explain why he’s still a billionaire.

Now he’s back again to save the day with Ross Newhan reporting exclusively in The Times on Saturday that Broad is offering to buy the Dodgers for $430 million, mostly in cash, if just given the chance. That’s petty cash.

Sounds good, until you read further and the print seems to grow smaller. In Broad’s letter to Fox, Newhan reports, Broad said he would require $50 million in credits and an $80-million loan from Fox.

If you’re a philanthropist, supposedly just giving away your money, and Forbes sets your net worth at $3.8 billion, why would you need credit, or a loan?

Listen, if I’m a 70-year-old philanthropist, which will never happen because of the wife, I’d write out a check for $3 billion to the needy, sit back, enjoy my art collection and try to make do on the remaining $800 million.

If the wife persisted in shopping, I’d sell a painting or two, make copies of Hilton’s video and start renting them out.

That’s the problem with the Broad I know, however, and I’m speaking about Eli here. From what I can tell, he just doesn’t give away his money for nothing, and I’m not referring to the controversy earlier that had him donating $10 million to Occidental College at the same time he was trying to woo its president to run for the L.A. school board.

The Broad I covered during his bid for football wanted to be local benevolent hero and tight-fisted negotiator. Failing in both, he still emerged the winner, of course, because who is going to get upset with someone who just might give away millions if so inclined?

Right now on the front page of The Times he looks like the local benevolent hero, especially when you compare the philanthropist with the Boston parking lot attendant. Throw in Peter O’Malley, and I have a feeling that’s where Broad is headed, and that would explain why he thinks Fox should be loaning him money to take the Dodgers.

I’ve never met anyone, and that’s anyone in sports, with more class than O’Malley, but O’Malley is not the answer for what ails the Dodgers. The Dodgers were on the skids when O’Malley sold the team. O’Malley is only looking better and better since he left -- because he left and Fox took over. Under those conditions, we might herald Donald Sterling as owner of the year.

There is no way of knowing what kind of baseball team owner Broad would be, and I don’t think we’ll ever know. I realize that might very well leave Dodger fans with the Boston parking lot attendant, but I have a feeling that’s just what Broad is counting on, too.

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THE CLIPPERS were favored by two points over the Lakers, but I remained steadfastly solid in Phil Jackson’s corner and told him so now that we’re getting closer to determining who will coach the Western Conference All-Stars in Staples Center.

“That’s the kind of support I don’t need,” Jackson said.

You have to wonder about a guy who thinks he can do it all by himself, while preaching teamwork all the time.

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FILMMAKERS USED the backdrop of Saturday’s game for “After Sunset,” a movie starring Salma Hayek and a couple of lesser-known actors, Pierce Brosnan and Woody Harrelson. I’m told Hayek falls in love with Brosnan. I’m sure it’s all make-believe.

Hayek was not at the game, and surprisingly the movie’s executive producer, Patrick Palmer, said she never mentioned anything about passing on her regards. She must be busy.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from John McCarthy:

“You have to love Phil Jackson. The guy could coach a plank of wood to beat the Queens. I have no idea what the odds are against the Lakers beating Sacramento Friday night, but my money is on Phil. You heard it here first, and you can let the rest of the [world] know I told you so -- the Lakers are going to upset [the Kings].”

Happy to mention it.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.