Winnin’s, fixin’s and a few sayin’s

Editor’s note: Wild West columnist Christopher Reynolds is dodging banana slugs and poison oak in Northern California. While he’s on vacation, Montie Montana Jr., who writes “The Wild West” column for the Weekly Messenger and Good Life Gazette in Springville, Calif. -- gateway to Giant Sequoia National Monument -- fills in with an early copy of his regular Thursday dispatch.

Howdy!

Six-time and reigning world saddle bronc champion Dan Mortensen of Billings, Mont., came away the big winner during the recently completed “Cowboy Christmas” period that covers the July 4th weekend, claiming checks worth $27,519 at five rodeos.

But he wasn’t the only one celebrating a quick windfall over the holiday weekend. Bareback rider Kelly Timberman of Mills, Wyo., who is seeking his first Wrangler National Finals Rodeo qualification later this year, was a close second in overall earnings with $26,302 at four rodeos. That figure was nearly 65% of Timberman’s previous earnings for the season.

Glen O’Neill, the 2002 saddle bronc riding champion, had a stellar weekend of his own. He bagged $24,711 at five rodeos. Eight cowboys topped $15,000 for the weekend, and six compete in the riding, or rough stock, events. Rod Hay of Wildwood, Alberta, a seven-time Canadian Professional Rodeo Assn. saddle bronc riding champion, won $23,950 by placing in six rodeos. Reigning world steer wrestling champion Teddy Johnson topped timed-event competitors by bagging $18,417 at three rodeos, while calf-roping leader Stran Smith of Childress, Texas, won $17,613, also at three rodeos. Bull rider Jerry Shephard of Levan, Utah, earned $17,577, while fellow bull rider Dustin Elliott of Maxwell, Neb., took home $16,430.

Mortensen, who in 2003 tied the late Casey Tibbs for most titles in saddle bronc riding, won the majority of his money at the Greeley (Colo.) Rocky Mountain Stampede, where he won the aggregate title and $15,064 for the weekend’s single-largest payday.

Cowboy cuisine

Gene Autry’s Texas Chili: 1 1/2 pounds ground round; 1 clove garlic, chopped; 1 medium onion, chopped; 1 medium green pepper, chopped fine; 1 package chili seasoning or 1 bottle Red Devil chile sauce; 16-ounce can kidney beans; 1 8-ounce can tomatoes, chopped fine; 1 cup jack cheese, grated. Brown the first four ingredients until tender. Add all the remaining ingredients except the cheese. Cook on a high simmer for one hour. Add jack cheese to thicken just before serving. Serves 6.

Coyote of the week

Mrs. John Kerry (Teresa Heinz Kerry), who has a net worth of between $900 million and $3.2 billion, reported her income of about $5 million on her 2003 income tax return and chooses not to make it public. That’s one-half of 1% return or less. I’d like to hire her accountant for tax purposes only, not for investment advice.

Sayin’s

“Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.” -- Heywood Broun

Send us a sayin’ or quote, and if we use it, you’ll be eligible for a drawing for a “Weekend in Pixley!”

Cowboys & ranchers advisory panel

KATHMANDU, Nepal (AP) -- Female rice farmers are plowing their fields at night in the nude to please the rain god during a dry spell in southwestern Nepal, a news report said Sunday. A 35-year-old farmer, Ambika Tharu, said she and other women were daring to bare all for the rain god because of a delay in the annual monsoon season and the need for precipitation for their rice crops.

“My mother-in-law said the god would be pleased and make rainfall if women till the land naked,” Tharu told the Himalayan Times newspaper.

Note: What a great idea! OK, how about local women helping out with the current drought?

Campaign ’04

John Kerry picked the prettiest vice presidential running mate. Since he is a successful personal injury lawyer, why not sue the terrorists into submission?

Scam alert

If someone comes to your front door saying he or she is conducting a survey and asks you to take your clothes off, do not do it! This is a scam; they only want to see you naked. I wish I’d gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid and cheap now.

Where to bunch up

Go to Prorodeo.com to check out rodeos this weekend. Springville Sierra Rodeo is April 22-24, 2005. Only 40 weeks away. Plan ahead.