Will A-List Cellphone Get Its Callback?

Film producer and manager Arnold Stiefel kept having problems with his Motorola cellphone, to the point where he was ready to scream.

But, while getting a haircut, Stiefel was fiddling around with it and the names of A-list Hollywood players started popping up, along with their home phone numbers.

Tom Cruise. Harrison Ford. Benicio Del Toro.

“The first thing I see is Tom Cruise’s number, and I don’t have Tom Cruise’s number,” says Stiefel, who currently manages Rod Stewart.

“I said, ‘What’s this doing here?’ The person cutting my hair happens to cut Tom Cruise’s hair. And she says, ‘That hasn’t been his number for a year and a half.’ ”

Do you love Hollywood?

Stiefel kept playing with the Motorola and realized the electronic “phone book” featured dozens of names he had not entered, many of them famous, and many of them powerful.

“Every major agent was in there, the head of ICM, Jeff Berg; Bryan Lourd from CAA; Jim Wyatt from William Morris. There were major film directors like Ang Lee. Edward Norton was in there, Nicole Kidman, Rob Marshall who did ‘Chicago,’ Tom Brokaw, Charlie Rose.... There were hundreds of names.”

Maybe it was a special feature for L.A. cellphone users who want to break into the business, Stiefel thought. For just $9.99 a month, get direct access to all the stars; badger high-powered agents about your screenplay.

None of Stiefel’s assistants had entered the names into the Motorola, so he could think of only one explanation: The phone, which he bought new earlier this year, wasn’t really new. He had been carrying that A-list phone book around for months without even knowing it.

“They sold me a reconditioned phone,” Stiefel fumed, although People’s Choice in Beverly Hills told him that wasn’t possible.

When I called People’s Choice, I got a recording the first time and was disconnected on the next try. Then I left a message that was never returned. Maybe their phone was out of service.

Someone had to have owned the Motorola before he did, Stiefel says.

But who? An actor? Director? Personal trainer?

Jason Alexander is in there. Julia Ormond, Peter Bogdanovich, Lena Olin, Michael Caine, Bob Zemeckis, Robert Towne, Anthony Edwards, Arnie Morgan, Cameron Crowe, Michael Ovitz, Eli Broad, Frank Gehry and Arnie Klein, Hollywood’s Dr. Botox.

I asked Stiefel if he was going to copy the numbers before tossing the finicky Motorola, but he didn’t sound all that star-struck and said his own Rolodex was bigger, anyway.

“It’s not only that I don’t need them,” he said of the numbers, “but I’ve reached a point in my life where I don’t want them.... If you call a celebrity on the phone, all you get is a celebrity on the phone. It’s not as if by calling Barbra Streisand you can sing like her.”

Still, Stiefel admitted, he had a good mystery on his hands. The list of names was like a Hollywood treasure hunt map or a category on “Jeopardy!”

The owner of the phone liked Il Fornaio in Beverly Hills, Tal Bagels in New York and Tavern on the Green in Central Park. He or she was not likely to be spotted in a Kia or a Chevy, because the directory includes numbers for Beverly Hills Ferrari and Beverly Hills Mercedes.

Just to make sure the list wasn’t some kind of hoax, I rang a few of the celebs.

Harrison Ford’s number got me an electronic answering service.

Eli Broad was home, but sounded busy.

I called Nicole Kidman and was referred to another number, where a woman said:

“She’s on another line.”

I left Nicole a message to call me back.

I thought about calling Jason Alexander, except that he’d probably answer on the first ring and break into song. I thought about calling Ed Norton to ask what he was thinking when he made the movie “Death to Smoochy.” Then I thought about calling Nicole back to see if she was busy tonight.

If anyone out there can figure out whose phone this was, e-mail me immediately to claim your reward.

Stiefel is willing to part with two box seats to Rod Stewart at the Hollywood Bowl next month. And if you’re trying to get hooked up in Hollywood, I can put in a word for you with Tom Cruise’s hairdresser.

Steve Lopez writes Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. Reach him at steve.lopez

@latimes.com and read previous columns at www.latimes

.com/lopez.