England Stunned, Not Stoned
Timing is everything in soccer, and soccer journalism, which brings us to the headline that recently appeared in England’s The Guardian:
“It’s OK to smoke dope, England fans told”
What?
When?
Where?
Good questions, all. The story beneath the headline dealt with Portuguese police, concerned about rowdy English soccer fans invading their country for the 2004 European Championship, opting to “turn a blind eye to England supporters who openly smoke cannabis during Euro 2004, having decided that a stoned crowd is easier to control than a drunk one.”
The story appeared in last Friday’s editions of the paper, a significant point. Two days later, England would play dreaded rival France in its Euro 2004 opener, so, technically speaking, the police in Portugal were only clearing the way for the use of precautionary, pre-emptive marijuana.
Then England played France in Lisbon on Sunday.
Suddenly, English fans were ready for medicinal marijuana. Or, something considerably stronger.
Even by England’s notoriously self-destructive standards, Sunday’s 2-1 loss to France was so masochistically gruesome, even the French were shaking their heads in sympathy.
England led, 1-0, after 89 minutes, despite a blown second-half penalty kick by David Beckham, which would have given the English an ocean of breathing room. Instead, the English ITV broadcasters squirmed in their seats as the match inched nervously into the 90th minute.
“It’s all about will and character now,” play-by-play man Clive Tyldesley said breathlessly. “Can they hang on? France will come and come.”
France did and did. England forward Emile Heskey, back-tracking to lend defensive support, fouled French midfielder Claude Makelele about five yards outside the English penalty area.
“How’s your heart rate, Robert?” Tyldesley asked analyst Bobby Robson, a former England national-team manager.
“Not going too well at the moment,” Robson croaked. “But, I’ll survive, because I think there’s only about two minutes. If we get over this one, this dangerous position now ... as long as we don’t concede, I’ll think we can see this game out.”
France’s Zinedine Zidane stepped over the ball, lined up the free kick, swung and delivered.
David James, England’s goalkeeper, didn’t move.
The ball was next seen spinning in the net’s side webbing. England 1, France 1.
Robson was speechless. England proceeded to kick off. More silence. Finally, Robson regrouped long enough to offer, barely, “Um
France moved the ball quickly into England territory. English midfielder Steven Gerrard cut back to knock the ball away.
“Now,” Robson said, “the important thing is, we mustn’t lose this game.”
The final syllable hung in Robson’s throat as Gerrard inexplicably tried to fire a back pass to James from nearly 30 yards out.
The pass never had a chance. Thierry Henry easily beat James to the ball in the penalty box, James countered with a clumsy, desperate two-footed tackle.
Penalty kick, France.
Four minutes into injury time, Zidane converted again. France 2, England 1.
“And England have just been ambushed,” Tyldesley said, unable to hide his dejection. Then, a few moments later, he bucked back up: “England will just have to beat them in the final.”
That’s England. And that’s France. France won the Euro 2000 final in eerily similar fashion, conjuring two goals after the 90th minute to overhaul Italy, 2-1. And to reach that final, France slipped past Portugal, 2-1, on a controversial penalty and 117th-minute penalty kick, again, by Zidane.
One team cursed, one team blessed -- and when English white and French blue clashed in Lisbon, their true colors showed once more.
Tuesday marked the completion of the first round of Euro 2004 group games. All 16 teams have played one game and no team has yet to establish itself as the one to beat. Greece’s 2-1 victory over host Portugal on Saturday was briefly considered a shocker, but that was only until the media rechecked Portugal’s recent big-tournament history. World Cup 2002: Portugal falls asleep in the first half against the United States, allowing the Americans, then lightly regarded, to sneak away with a 3-2 victory. The United States eventually reached the quarterfinals, Portugal went home after three games.
Good news for the Portuguese in 2004: If they go home after three games again, at least they won’t have far to travel.
Elsewhere, it was pretty much business as expected. Italy and Denmark in Group C and Croatia and Switzerland in Group B played to scoreless draws -- scores that could have been e-mailed in months ago. Spain battled itself more than Russia for 90 minutes, settling for a 1-0 victory that looked a lot better when the Spaniards began breaking down the Portugal-Greece game tape.
Oh, and Germany and the Netherlands played on Tuesday. Just another unfriendly scrimmage between these two. Germany scored first when Torsten Frings’ free kick from just inside the sideline bounded through the Dutch penalty area untouched until it struck the far post and trickled beyond the goal line.
The Netherlands rallied in the 81st minute when Dutch striker Ruud van Nistelrooy, getting tackled NFL-style by German defender Christian Worns, shook off Worns’ stranglehold to volley in for a 1-1 draw.
In this tournament, you can’t afford to flinch once in 90 minutes. Even longer, if you happen to be matched against France.
