Doggedly Pursuing All Avenues to Carpool Lane

“If I have my dog in the car with me, can I drive in the carpool lane?” a reader asked the Orange County Register. The writer was being facetious, pointing out that it’s almost as ridiculous to use the coveted lane accompanied only by a baby.

But nothing is too fantastical for California. Columnist Gary Richards of the San Jose Mercury News reported a sighting a while back of a motorist who had indeed “dressed up his large dog with a hat and scarf” so he could pool with it. A witness told Richards that he at first “thought the passenger was having a bad-hair day.”

Dog-day commute (cont.): Motorists have tried other ploys too. Six years ago, a mortuary employee accompanied only by a corpse was ticketed in L.A. for using the carpool lane on the San Diego Freeway.

Not recommended for sleepwalkers: David Waite of Riverside discovered a spelling-challenged ad for a unique home- security item (see accompanying).

Unclear on the concept: Marilyn Lengyel of Whittier saw a chicken offer that caused her to wonder how a customer could receive a free bird if the store didn’t have any (see accompanying).

Critters you wouldn’t want free or otherwise: While in India, Ed Stalcup of Malibu noticed a sign that would grab the attention of any guest (see photo).

Unreal estate: Don Hansen of Hollywood spotted a property listing for a house that had coffered ceilings -- but a typo made it sound as though it had big hair (see accompanying).

Food for thought: The discussion of foreign delicacies that don’t translate easily into English reminded my colleague Bob Browning of a funny experience he and his wife had in Denmark.

“A waiter asked us if we wanted regular water or ‘water with gas,’ ” Browning said. “That must be a literal translation from the Danish of ‘sparkling water.’ ”

Speaking of gas: And when Muncie Marder used an Internet translating program to examine one French restaurateur’s menu, “I found they served a salad with ‘lettuce, tomatoes and lawyers.’ ” It turns out that “avocat” can be translated as either “avocado” or “lawyer.”

“Being a lawyer myself,” Marder said, “I decided not to go anywhere near the place.”

Mondegreen of the Day: Joe Ellenbogen of Sherman Oaks says his daughter Susan “was a hard-playing child who took lots of falls. So it was logical that she managed to put a different spin on the song, ‘Oh Susanna,’ singing, ‘I come from Alabama with a Band-Aid on my knee.’ ”

miscelLAny: Overheard in an Orange County salon: A manicurist told a customer, “Your daughter’s getting really pretty -- she looks more like your husband.”

Steve Harvey can be reached at steve.harvey@latimes.com.