Race Driver Needs Some Real-World Experience

Did you see where driver Rusty Wallace complained to reporters that a rival had given him the one-finger salute during the Auto Club 500 in Fontana? Obviously Wallace hasn’t driven much in Southern California or he’d be used to that gesture.

A different racing spectacle: For Jeff Bliss, mention here of the 1974 streaking craze (which I’m thinking of resuming in this weather), brought back memories of working at the now defunct Orange County International Raceway.

“A woman, obviously well-fueled, was goaded into a run down the quarter-mile strip in her birthday suit,” Bliss said.

“The starter set the lights in motion and, with the green, she was off.

“Down the strip she raced with nothing on but her tennis shoes. The official track announcer gave a sort of play-by-play. The crowd stood and cheered her to the finish line. Lights flashed her elapsed time. It was funny -- and surreal.”

Added Bliss: “The track officials knew they had a good thing going. They proceeded to offer several hundred dollars in prizes to other women who’d get in on the ‘event.’

“There were no takers -- much to the crowd’s dismay.” Or at least the male portion of the crowd.

Even in this hot spell ... : Phil Kash isn’t sure he’d need all the swimming facilities available at one vacation residence (see accompanying).

A result of the supermarket strike? Nina Rose Brice spotted a police blotter item in the Leisure World News that seemed to be about some market employees who had been taken hostage (see accompanying).

No legal problems here: Bernie Hebert sent along an ad for the uniform of a nurse who apparently had no complaints from the patients (see accompanying).

No Hollywood ending: Pollard’s Vision, the horse named in honor of Red Pollard, Seabiscuit’s half-blind jockey, finished in 17th place in the Kentucky Derby on Saturday.

Mondegreen of the day: Today’s adventure in misinterpretation is recounted by Janet Kabashima of Tustin, who says that when she heard the Pledge of Allegiance in grade school, she thought “and to the republic for which it stands” was “and to the republic four witches stand.” Said Kabashima: “It seemed kind of scary to me.”

Bad pun of the day? Andrew Goldstein of Santa Monica caught this police blotter item in the Claremont Courier: “Officers instructed a man to pull over for a suspected DUI.

“After getting out of his car he was told to take nine steps in one direction, safely, turn around and take eight steps back. So he walked nine steps, turned around and shouted, ‘Say flea!’ ”

miscelLAny: Columnist Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle speculates that this was the thinking behind college football star Eli Manning’s controversial warning to the San Diego Chargers not to sign him: “San Diego has the highest gas prices in the country. Do I really want to blow my signing bonus just to fill up my SUV?”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.