It Isn’t Same, Old Parquet Path Now

After the NBA Finals, Doc Rivers is giving up his cushy job as ABC commentator to become coach of the Boston Celtics.

Al Michaels is among those questioning Rivers’ decision. Of his lame-duck broadcast partner, Michaels said, “Doc told me when he took this job, it would take something very special to get him back into coaching.”

Turning to Rivers, Michaels said, “Don’t you realize Bob Cousy, Bill Sharman and Bill Russell are gone, for crying out loud?”

Trivia time: What do Sharman and Bill Walton have in common, besides their first names and Hall of Fame status?

But can he read? During signings for her late husband’s new book, Marge Hearn has heard some unusual requests. While Marge was preparing to autograph a copy of the book for a woman at Staples Center, the woman asked, “Could you make it out to Chick Hearn?”

Marge looked a bit puzzled.

“Our dog is named Chick Hearn,” the woman explained.

Cuckoo’s nest: Of the Lakers’ wacky regular season, Coach Phil Jackson told KLAC’s Larry Burnett: “I’m not going to say the lunatics were running the insane asylum, but the patients were running the hospital. The doctor really didn’t have any remedies.”

Tough matchup: Of the Lakers beating the Houston Rockets to earn a playoff berth against the San Antonio Spurs, the Denver Post’s Jim Armstrong, in the column he writes for aol.com, said: “That’s like escaping from Alcatraz so you can swim with the sharks.”

One way to save: TNT’s Charles Barkley, while looking at Milwaukee’s NBA playoff media guide, said, “This is a waste of money.... I think that a team shouldn’t be able to have a media guide until they make it through the first round.”

At least the Clippers never have to worry about wasting money on a playoff guide.

The expert: Barkley, on suspicions surrounding Barry Bonds: “Y’all act like it’s a big deal to gain weight when you get old. I got it down to an exact science.”

Different tack: Bonds played only 115 games in the minor leagues before he was brought up to the Pittsburgh Pirates by then-General Manager Syd Thrift.

“After he hit his 500th home run, I called to congratulate him,” Thrift told the New York Times. “Most people would say, ‘Thank you very much.’ He told me, ‘If you had brought me up earlier, I’d have hit it sooner.’ ”

Looking back: On this day in 1994, Barkley scored 56 points, including a playoff-record 38 in the first half, to lead the Phoenix Suns to a 140-133 victory over the Golden State Warriors.

Trivia answer: The name Walton. Sharman’s middle name is Walton.

And finally: Bonds’ passing Willie Mays in home runs has done wonders for Bonds’ disposition. Writes Greg Cote of the Miami Herald: “Friends describe the usually surly slugger as now merely grouchy.”

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Larry Stewart can be reached at larry.stewart@latimes.com.