Even for Him, It’s Hard to Like These Lakers

I like Luke Walton. I’ve never talked to him so that might have something to do with it, but I find this whole “Access Hollywood” business about Britney Spears having a crush on him hilarious -- especially if you think of Bill Walton some day being Britney’s father-in-law.

By the way, Justin Timberlake has been to the last two Laker games. I wonder if that’s because of Spears’ sudden interest in Walton?

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NOW BEYOND Walton, I’m curious, how many Lakers do you really find to be likable? Sure, sure, every one of them now that they’re winning, and while it’s blasphemy to suggest otherwise the way everyone “loves” the Lakers these championship days, do you really find them likable?

There’s nothing more enjoyable than watching great athletes such as the Lakers perform (when they feel like it). Throw in the celebrities in attendance ( I never realized what a shrimp Prince is) who adore the Lakers the way so many fans adore the celebrities, and it’s an all-around love fest. Where else can Mr. T get showered with applause these days?

The Lakers are a cinch now, of course, to win another title, which means at least two more weeks of listening to them say the stupidest things before everyone honors them as heroes with a parade.

Take Wednesday when you had the Laker PR whiz, John Black, telling the media, “basketball questions only,” while reporters quizzed Kobe Bryant about his chances of returning to L.A. on time from Colorado. Black should have been in Gary Payton’s face, telling him, “basketball answers only.”

If you had teammates or co-workers such as Payton, reminding every reporter within earshot that you could do jail time, you might isolate yourself from teammates and co-workers as Kobe has done at times.

“You have to understand, you’re going to go to a trial, you don’t know what’s going to happen,” Payton said. “You might go to jail, you might not. That’s a bad feeling for a guy that’s 25 years old, especially with the life he has had and the celebrity he is right now. And there’s an opportunity -- or a possibility -- of him going to jail. I hope he’s thinking positive that he’s not and just keep positive and keep praying that he won’t go to jail. And I hope he will keep playing basketball for many years.”

On a positive note, I guess, we should be happy Payton is talking about a teammate going to jail rather than whining.

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A FEW days earlier -- in fact a day before he tanked in Minnesota -- Shaquille O’Neal started bellyaching about money again, wondering where the next $500 bill might come from after he’s paid the more than $58 million the Lakers still owe him the next two years. If I understood him correctly, the Big Bellyacher also wants to be paid now as Laker GM.

“I’m the one that’s bringing in the players anyway,” Shaq said last week.

It never stops. Throw in Devean George, his $4.545 million salary and unfulfilled potential, Kobe’s obvious drop in likability although disguised by cheers, and Coach Phil Jackson’s arrogance, and what’s to like here? Every game they announce Coach Jackson’s name, it seems the only one clapping is Jeanie Buss.

I know a number of people have said they’d like to see Karl Malone get a ring -- afraid, I guess, that he might elbow them in the face if they said otherwise.

The Lakers, likable or not, are going to win the whole thing now, and undoubtedly everything else will be forgiven. I’d feel a lot better, though, if they had a parade and invited only Derek Fisher to attend -- unless Luke could convince Britney to join him.

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THE FOLKS sitting in the $2,600 courtside seats at Staples received a glass of champagne before the game with a glowing purple ice cube, and then got a “Laker cookie” to start the fourth quarter. The unwashed, meanwhile, have bought more than 8,000, “One Lucky Shot Deserves Another,” T-shirts at $25 apiece with 0.4 on the back in the Staples’ gift shop.

They started selling “One Lucky ...” foam hats for $10 Thursday night, although Channel 4’s Fred Roggin accepted one for free to use on his unbiased Laker report.

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ST. PAUL Pioneer Press columnist Bob Sansevere spent Wednesday on Rodeo Drive, and when you take into consideration the Mall of America is the biggest thing Minnesota has going for it and the team plays in the “Target Center,” I guess covering the shopping scene in L.A. is what you’d expect from a Minnesota sportswriter.

Sansevere asked folks along Rodeo Drive about lutefisk and Paul Bunyan, couldn’t find anyone who knew what he was talking about, and wrote about it. He made everyone in the L.A. area sound dumb, and yet never mentioned in his column that he’d be returning to Minnesota today for the rest of his life.

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DID YOU catch the Choking Dogs’ quote from the Dodgers’ very own GM, Paul DePodesta, who like Page 2, said of the team’s recent slide: “I was prepared for this, even expecting it.”

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RAN INTO Michael Ovitz at the Laker game, and asked him how he reacted when he heard that the NFL wants to have a team in Los Angeles in 2008. He laughed. I asked for a comment, and he said, “I don’t ever want to see my name in your column.” It’s not the first time he hasn’t gotten his way -- just ask the NFL.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Scott Wallner:

“Minnesota is a great place to live. This morning I began my day sitting on my deck, drinking coffee and listening to the loons calling to each other.”

That must have been after they had e-mailed me.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.