Transaction Wire Seems Perfect for These Deals

Fred Smoot of the Minnesota Vikings says he’d pay $10,000 for jersey No. 21, worn by safety Corey Chavous, who so far isn’t biting.

They’re the latest of many NFL players bickering over numbers. Clinton Portis of the Washington Redskins agreed to buy Ifeanyi Ohalete’s No. 26 for $40,000, then Ohalete got cut and the squabbling over payment nearly landed in court before Portis relented.

New York Giant punter Jeff Feagles might as well wear a “For Sale” sign above his number. He gave Eli Manning No. 10 in return for a family vacation. He then gave Plaxico Burress No. 17 for an outdoor kitchen.

Feagles will wear No. 18 this season -- presumably.

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More numbers: St. Louis Ram Coach Mike Martz has requested that quarterback Jeff Smoker give up his No. 9 jersey, saying certain numbers are bad luck. The player was smart enough not to pull a Feagles and ask for anything in return.

Trivia time: Who was the first major league player to steal 100 bases in a season?

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It’s all relative: Andy Stokes, dubbed Mr. Irrelevant as the final pick of the NFL draft, agreed with the New England Patriots to a two-year deal worth about $270,000 a season.

That may be chump change for a pro football player, but for many a workaday stiff, it’d be as relevant as morning coffee.

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Tennis slots, anyone? Andre Agassi’s name and image appear on new slot machines in the MGM Grand and will soon appear throughout Las Vegas. The games have a tennis theme and some of the proceeds will go to his charitable foundation.

“I think people will be glad to know that if they’re losing money playing the game, at least a portion will go toward making a difference in the community,” Agassi told Associated Press.

“Glad” may be stretching it.

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Safe or out? New York Yankee owner George Steinbrenner issued a statement in support of Manager Joe Torre, ensuring that his “job is safe,” and given the Boss’ history, we all know what that could mean.

Wrote syndicated columnist Norman Chad in the Seattle Post-Intellegencer: “Memo to Joe Torre: U-Haul has a good daily rate.”

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Counterpoint: Baltimore Raven Coach Brian Billick, on Jamal Lewis’ not being allowed out of a halfway house to attend mini-camp, told the Baltimore Sun, “It’s disappointing, especially since every time I turn on the TV, Martha Stewart is all over the country doing something. Evidently, she has a different furlough guy than Jamal.”

Bob Young of the Arizona Republic wrote: “Gee, it seems to us that none of this would be a problem had Lewis not tried to broker a COCAINE DEAL with an undercover FEDERAL AGENT.”

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Trivia answer: Maury Wills, who had 104 with the Dodgers in 1962.

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And finally: Calling the practice “highly inconvenient,” a German court has upheld a ruling denying a group of cyclists a nude spin along the Rhine river to celebrate “World Nude Cycling Day.”

Highly inconvenient, indeed. Those bicycle seats are hard even with the extra padding.