Getting Past First Base Is Hard in Chat With Choi

I was having the toughest time Saturday night trying to explain to Hee-Seop Choi just how terrible a hitter I thought he was.

If the screaming and cursing I hear from players is any indication, I’m usually pretty good at telling players how terrible they are, but Choi didn’t seem to grasp it.

I told him he has more strikeouts in his career than hits. I told him he took up space in the clubhouse when he arrived last year. I told him he came to spring training and continued to strike out.

I wish I knew the word for “stiff” in Korean.

“You were terrible, just terrible, terrible, terrible,” I said, and now that I think about it, my relationship with Karl Dullard began in much the same way.

“This is my problem,” Choi said. “I understand. A lot of strikeouts.”

I imagine Choi speaks fluent Korean, and if he told me I was a jerk and Page 2 was terrible, I’d certainly understand what he was saying, because what would you expect a Dodger player to say?

Beyond that, I’d have no idea what he’s talking about, so I could appreciate the difficulty he had trying to understand how much I belittled his skill as a hitter.

A Dodger publicist stepped in to help, telling Choi that I thought he was a really good hitter now, until I interrupted. “Not so fast. I still need some more convincing, maybe more hits than strikeouts for a start.”

Choi nodded. “I hit good,” he said, and he saw how befuddled I appeared.

“When did you hit good?” I asked.

“I said, ‘If I hit good,’ ” Choi said, “everything will be fine.” Obviously he’s never read Page 2.

Choi said he has learned to relax, think less and play baseball for fun. He said he has made his swing more compact batting No. 2 in the lineup because pitchers, unwilling to walk him ahead of J.D. Drew and Jeff Kent, throw more strikes.

Hitting instructor Tim Wallach has been working along with coach Manny Mota to make Choi more aggressive at the plate. Right now Wallach and Mota qualify as miracle workers.

Choi was 10 for 20 on the Dodgers’ recent trip, and you could’ve told me the other team had no one on the field other than the pitcher and I would’ve thought 10 for 20 would be impossible. I mentioned that, and he smiled; by this time Kevin Brown would’ve begun throwing things (the good news is that the way he’s throwing these days, it wouldn’t have been hard enough to hurt anyone).

The Dodgers have been home the last two nights, and Choi has been on the bench. The Micro Manager began the season telling everyone Choi would be the team’s everyday first baseman, and now we know, every day the other team starts a right-handed pitcher.

The Dodgers’ website noted last week that Choi has batted against left-handers only 65 of his 685 trips to the plate, for a .138 average. Now we’re really going to see if Wallach and Mota are miracle workers.

“I’ve been here only three years and I intend to have a long major league career,” Choi said of his big league career, and if he can overcome the notion that nice guys finish last, he’ll be a pleasant addition. “I’ll get more experience and be better.”

I asked if he liked hockey, noting he played first base like a goalie, and while I’m sure something was lost in translation because he asked me to keep repeating it, he said, “Defense. I like defense. But sometimes, I just miss the ball.”

When I finished, I turned and noticed Jason Phillips was in the locker next to Choi. I tapped him on the shoulder and said, “He was a lot better than you were,” which got nothing more than a grunt from Phillips.

I guess he knows how terrible I think he can be at times.

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IF YOU read today’s Dodger notes, you’ll understand why Jeff Weaver, a.k.a. the Flake, fell into disfavor with Yankee fans. According to the team’s beat reporters, Weaver implied the Micro Manager should’ve taken him out of Friday’s game before he gave up a grand slam.

Pitching coach Jim Colborn visited the mound before the big clout, but the Flake said he wasn’t asked if he was tired and wouldn’t have said if asked, although he didn’t mind bellyaching later about not being pulled from the game.

I guess he just wants everyone to know it’s someone else’s fault rather than his own, which is really nasty when you consider the Micro Manager was leaving him in to give the Flake the chance to win the game.

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THE DODGERS’ website is running a blog, “Tommy Lasorda’s World,” which allows him to repeat the same stories he tells over and over again when speaking. In his most recent diatribe, Lasorda blames the problem of $2 Tuesdays, in part, on “one bad sports columnist who unfairly criticizes the McCourts.”

My first guess was Plaschke because I don’t think I’ve ever seen Adande at a baseball game, or for that matter any sporting event other than a basketball game. I know no one reads the columnists who work for the shopper in Orange County, so it’s not them. The Long Beach columnist has talked openly of his admiration for Jamie McCourt’s legs, so that eliminates him. Someone said there’s an L.A. newspaper in the Valley, but I’m sure that’s news to Lasorda too.

“You know who it is,” Lasorda said, and as sad as he looked, I guess I’ll have to go with my original guess: Plaschke.

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THE LOS ANGELES Sports & Entertainment Commission will present Times Sports Editor Bill Dwyre with the Ambassador Award of Excellence on Monday, and I’ve been asked to attend because there’s concern no one else will.

I got to thinking the other day while I was writing about the Whizzinator, had it not been for Dwyre, I’d never have been given the chance to write about such things or even appear on Page 2. Makes you wonder why anyone is giving him an Ambassador Award of Excellence, doesn’t it?

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.