Perfecting the American sales pitch

To: Undersecretary Karen Hughes

From: Yet Another Communications Consultant

Subject: The Makeover Misnomer

IT HARDLY seems fair. With the jet lag from your first goodwill trip abroad still fresh, pundits and partisans around the globe are already weighing in on what one called your mission impossible -- “making over” our country’s image in the Muslim world.

But my advice is that you ignore their cracks, and take a lesson from the way business communicators tackle the far less daunting problems of corporate bankruptcies, regulatory nightmares and souring business reputations. Here’s what we’d say:

* Define the goal. Do we want everyone to like us? To buy democracy? To fear and respect us? Why care what they think? This may seem elementary, but confused business objectives are a prelude to failure. Clear objectives define good communications strategy.

* Listen well. Angry Enron stockholders and infuriated Middle Easterners have at least one thing in common: No one wants to hear from you until they feel they’ve been heard by you.

* Speak their language, not ours. Surely we’ll have better luck starting a dialogue by finding the common elements of Islamic and Western culture we share than with stirring references to Thomas Jefferson. Do Arab women relate to your identification as a “mom”? If so, great. If not, go back to the experts.

* It’s about policy. If the EEOC accuses your company of sexual harassment, don’t picket the EEOC with burly plant workers, as one company did. Make sure you’ve fixed the harassment problem. As you’ve said yourself, this job’s about policy, not press releases. If something needs changing, tell the boss.

* Conciliation is not communication. We don’t have real friends unless we have their respect. Steve Jobs didn’t build and then resurrect Apple by offending no one. When we’re right, we shouldn’t be afraid to say we’re right.

* Remember, we’re the biggest kid on the block. Who ever liked that kid? Don’t expect to be loved; strive to be effective.

* It takes time: The problem with most ad campaigns isn’t the ads, it’s the impatient management that abandons them too soon.

And please don’t promise quick fixes. After all, we’re public relations people, not miracle workers.

IAN CAMPBELL heads the West Coast office of a New York public relations firm that specializes in crisis communications, mergers and acquisitions, and corporate reputation.