The 86-proof solution

WHAT you drink might indeed give your date an immediate idea about who you are, and in this space last week female readers enjoyed a primer on what their companions derive from that first beverage order.

But does a guy’s choice of drink leave a similar first impression?

Probably -- even if it’s not the first impression.

I mean, by the time a dude gets to the all-important drink stage of a first date, he has been under plenty of scrutiny. So that “instant opinion” she forms when he orders his drink? It’s usually the 353rd opinion she’s formed in 10 minutes. (Including the conclusion drawn when he scratched his nose three times with his right hand. Ah-ha!)

After consulting some female friends and random mixologists, I submit to you guys a compendium of popular drinks -- and what that woman could be thinking when you order one:

* Beer on tap: Women told me they think a man who orders a beer is reliable, down-to-earth and low-maintenance. But he may put his dog -- possibly a Labrador mix named Prince -- before them.

* Dark beer: Women were divided -- Is he overtly masculine, or is he a guy who’s playing pseudo-sophisticate to the nth degree?

* Cosmopolitan: Shops at Pier One. Women immediately place in the “friend” category.

* Martini: Just blurt it out -- “Let me impress you with my suave, metrosexual ways.” Women view this drink as a sign of social skills. On the Westside, this is particularly effective, since the martini will frequently be ordered with a faux British accent.

* Mike’s Hard Lemonade: A rank amateur. Women check

the ID to make sure he’s really 21.

* Rum and Coke: Women said “Average Joe,” a joiner, a person so nondescript he’s a possible future Supreme Court nominee.

* Scotch on the rocks: Elegant, sophisticated, with manly Old World charm. Either that or he read the book “999 Ways to Impress Chicks” while working the drive-through window.

* Harvey Wallbanger: A man’s man; the type who goes to football games shirtless with five of his friends, each with a letter across his torso spelling out their team’s nickname.

* Red Bull and vodka: A bandwagon-jumper who wears a shirt emblazoned in 14-inch “Tommy Hilfiger” lettering and asks “How about our Angels?” even though he’s not certain what sport they play.

* Wine (red or white): Distinguished and ambitious. Although that vacant staring at the wine list is viewed as a way of avoiding conversation.

* Long Island iced tea: “My backseat sleeps two comfortably.”

* Gin and tonic: Possibly dull, he regales dates with complaints about his failed third marriage.

* Margarita: “The party didn’t even get started till 4:30 in the morning and then we were still doing Jell-O shooters at 7 p.m. the next day” type.

* Tequila: Women surmise a tequila drinker is a free spirit. Always a chance he could cancel a future date due to court-ordered attendance at an AA meeting.

* Club soda: First thing a woman thinks is “on the wagon.” Second thing she thinks is “cheap.” Best way to determine which is to see if he takes you to Norm’s on your second date and then says it’s his birthday so he gets the free sliver of carrot cake.

* Zima: Women think you’re the type who will invite them back to your double-wide to watch the “Dukes of Hazzard” marathon.

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Brad Dickson can be reached at weekend@latimes.com.