Opponents Will Arrive Between Noon and 5

Arizona Western will play its final home football game of the season Saturday -- against a team made up of construction workers, plumbers and businessmen.

The Matadors’ scheduled opponent, Pima Community College, said it could no longer field a team and canceled its season, so the semi-pro Phoenix Talons stepped in and Serviceman Appreciation Night will go on as planned.

“Anyone in the surrounding communities that serves the public in any capacity, including garbage men, will gain free admission,” the Yuma Sun reported.

It just might be worth the price.

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Trivia time: Which was the only Pacific 10 Conference men’s basketball team to win its final game in 2004-05?

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Touche: Doug Robinson of the Deseret Morning News in Salt Lake City brings up a good point regarding the NBA’s new dress code for players: “Now if they can just do something about the attire of sportswriters -- no visible mustard stains allowed -- they’ll really clean up this league.”

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Not in Chicago anymore: Mike Downey of the Chicago Tribune, noting that the Houston Chronicle has repeatedly referred to White Sox pitcher Jon Garland as John Garland: “I guess being a 2005 All-Star didn’t make Jon Garland a household name in these parts.

“Here we are, 173 games into the Sox season, but I guess he still is an unknown to these folks. They didn’t call him Judy Garland, at least.”

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A novel idea: On Astro fans complaining that it was unfair of Major League Baseball to mandate that the retractable roof at Minute Maid Park remain open for the games at Houston, Downey commented, “Imagine that. The gall, making a team play a game of baseball outdoors!”

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Nothing could be finer: Both were potential No. 1 overall draft choices, but that honor went to Alex Smith, who went to the 49ers before Aaron Rodgers went to the Green Bay Packers -- 23 picks later. Smith has had five passes intercepted, and endured 12 sacks and strained knee ligaments in two starts.

Rodgers has thrown only one pass, a completion for no gain in a 52-3 victory over the Saints, but he has something Smith does not: a viable mentor in Brett Favre.

Said the former Cal quarterback to the San Jose Mercury News: “I can’t think of any place I’d rather be.”

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Hardly paradise: Oregon freshman tackle Max Unger, who was born and raised in Hawaii, told the Honolulu Advertiser that his new surroundings take getting used to. “The beach is just nasty,” he said. “It’s just sand and ocean. They call it ‘the coast,’ [but] there’s a big difference. You’re out there in full-weather gear.”

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Trivia answer: Last-place USC, which defeated Oregon State in its regular-season finale and did not qualify for the conference tournament.

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And finally: In reference to the so-called “Love Boat” scandal involving the Minnesota Vikings, Linda Robertson of the Miami Herald commented that Coach Mike Tice’s job security is “hanging by a G-string.”