His carrying capacity is tested by the Bruins

I just know these things.

Now I realize I had UCLA winning by seven points, and I’m bothered by the miscalculation, but I’m more upset by the fact I owe an apology to Karl Dorrell.

On Friday’s father-daughter radio gabfest with Uncle Fred, I asked Dorrell how much he weighed.

Dorrell said he was probably 180 pounds and wanted to know why I was so interested. I told him “just in case I have to carry you off the field Saturday, I’d like to know how heavy you’re going to be.”

So when the game was over and UCLA had beaten USC -- Dorrell stood waiting.

“You’re supposed to carry me,” he said, and while I could’ve sworn I had been supporting him the last few weeks at a time when few others seemed interested, I’m pretty sure he had something else in mind -- especially when he offered to take a running jump into my arms.

“Congratulations,” I told him, and then he hugged me -- making Karl Dorrell the first coach I have hugged in the 33 years I’ve been in this business, and what’s more shocking -- UCLA beating USC or Page 2 hugging D-o-r-r-e-l-l?

I’ve got nothing against USC and the utmost respect for Pete Carroll, who handled this devastating loss with tremendous class and lots of kudos for UCLA.

But just imagine being Dorrell the last four years in this town, in over his head from the start, with USC enjoying nothing but success and Dorrell losing in every comparison with the guy across town.

Throw in the final score of 66-19 a year ago, humiliation heaped upon the embarrassment of three consecutive losses to USC.

Fast-forward to this season, four consecutive UCLA losses, including a devastating last-second loss to Notre Dame that had some of the alumni calling for his ouster, and how many folks out there would have given a team coached by Dorrell any chance of winning its final three games?

In a city known best for its entertainment, I can’t imagine much better theater.

Take the final 5 minutes 52 seconds, and while TV broke away for a commercial, both benches emptied and the players began moving toward each other on the field. The electricity filled the air like few other sporting events I can recall attending with USC’s championship future and just maybe Dorrell’s career riding on the outcome.

“Every coach has some watershed moment, and in order to survive you’ve got to beat your rival,” said former UCLA coach Terry Donahue, a loser in his first four tries to beat USC, but finishing 5-5 overall. “You don’t have to beat your rival all the time, but if you don’t beat them, eventually it will get you. That’s why this was very big for Karl’s career.”

When it was over, an emotional Dorrell -- and that’s how far he has come -- stood at midfield triumphantly, twirling in a circle with both arms raised in the air savoring his Rocky moment. Oh, the joy he must have felt, and maybe the relief. The satisfaction was obvious, and isn’t it kind of nice when good people get the chance to feel really good?

“You know what this game means?” UCLA Athletic Director Dan Guerrero said. “It means these kids wanted to play for Karl, and they demonstrated that on the field.”

THE WIFE and I were taking a shower together, our little effort to conserve water and save the planet, when she asked, “What if you’re wrong?”

I told her the same thing I was telling the UCLA cheerleaders the other day when they stopped by the station and we got to talking. And talking. Not one of them, by the way, saying, “What if you’re wrong, big guy?”

The thing is, I just loved UCLA’s pass rush, and the fact that after arriving slow to the party, Dorrell had finally gone to his personal strength and taken a firmer grasp of the offense.

“I knew midway through the second quarter we might win this game,” Dorrell said, “because we were doing enough stuff differently on offense and they couldn’t quite get a bead on what we were doing.”

I also believed USC was caught between three incredible wins in a row and looking ahead to Ohio State, while giving little thought of losing to a 6-5 team it beat by 47 points a year ago. As good as Carroll is, I thought he was no match against human nature.

WHEN I first approached Donahue after the game he began shouting at me and threatening to punch me in the face if I said something wrong to ruin his day.

Then someone told him I had predicted a UCLA victory in the newspaper, and he said, “I was out of town and didn’t read the paper this week.”

Let that be a lesson to everyone who got all twisted in knots wondering what might happen Saturday.

“I went into the locker room before the game to talk to Karl and I got so emotional I almost couldn’t talk,” Donahue said.

Had he read the paper, he could have told Karl the outcome instead of becoming a blubbering distraction.

CRISP BACON!

Like the wife, like David Saul who owns Junior’s in West L.A. and like Uncle Fred, who thought there was no way UCLA could win, it’s time to settle up.

Uncle Fred was so confident and off base about this game, he took USC and offered 13 1/2 points and the promise to buy breakfast for everyone at 570 if UCLA came within two touchdowns of USC.

Saul offered to deliver breakfast in person to everyone at 570 if UCLA won, and while I know sometimes there’s traffic in the morning, I’m expecting my eggs to still be hot and my bacon crisp.

As for the wife, I know better than to expect a cooked breakfast, but I’ve got some other ideas on how she might make good.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.