The Crawl of the Wild

At the Meadowlands on Sunday, a New York Jet supporter brandished a green cardboard sign with a cut-and-paste message that resembled a ransom note, demanding, “ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS REGGIE BUSH!!!!”

In Tampa, the New Orleans Saints played like a team possessed with lining up a new challenger for Deuce McAllister next season, or getting Coach Jim Haslett fired, or both.

In Green Bay, the Packers’ quest for the top draft pick was sidetracked by Seneca Wallace and a burning desire to send Brett Favre out a winner, even if Favre hasn’t yet said if he’s staying or going.

And in San Francisco, the dregs of the NFL for most of the 2005 season, the Houston Texans and the San Francisco 49ers, played a game nobody in America would have watched were it not for the Reggie Bush factor.

So after the Jets and the Packers won games they might have been better off losing, and after the Saints lost their game to amp up the pressure at Monster Park, the Texans, holding the inside track on Bush, opened up a 10-0 lead, then looked quizzically at one another -- lightbulbs flickering over their woozy heads -- and remembered what they were here for and finally got down to business.

Quarterback David Carr, instrumental in that 10-0 lead, got hurt in the second quarter, turning the Bush Bid over to the ever-capable hands of Tony Banks, a surprising turn of events in that before Sunday, no one knew that Banks was still in the league.

True to his reputation, Banks entered the game and began firing touchdown passes -- one for his team, one for the other guys -- and Kris Brown missed a 31-yard field goal try and before you knew it, the Texans had the game knotted at 17-all, producing a fitting climax for this hapless exercise -- really, the only way this game could have ended.

Overtime.

At this point, several time zones to the east, hopeful Saint fans leaned forward in their chairs, rooting for a Banks miracle. If Houston could somehow find a way to score, the first overall choice in the 2006 draft would fall to New Orleans.

Instead, overtime played out pretty much as expected.

San Francisco punted.

Houston punted.

San Francisco punted.

Banks threw an interception.

From there, however, the proceedings took an unexpected detour.

After picking off Banks’ deep pass, San Francisco defensive back Mike Adams lateraled to teammate Ben Emanuel, who weaved 35 yards past Houston offensive players who tackled just as poorly as Houston defensive players.

That left the ball at the Houston 21-yard line. If Alex Smith could just refrain from throwing another pass, there was a good chance that Joe Nedney could come in and kick the decisive field goal.

Smith kept to the game plan.

Nedney came in and lined up over a 33-yard attempt.

“If this is good, the Texans will have the No. 1 pick in the draft!” CBS commentator Bill Macatee exclaimed.

Nedney’s kick split the uprights.

Forty-Niners win!

Texans celebrate!

Houston’s 20-17 defeat left the Texans with a final record of 2-14, worst in the league, holding off the 3-13 Saints and a host of 4-12 stragglers -- the Tennessee Titans, the Jets, the Packers, the 49ers, the Oakland Raiders -- to earn the right to draft Bush, USC’s 2005 Heisman Trophy winner, assuming Bush forgoes his final season of collegiate eligibility.

Thus begins a confusing and conflicted week for many football fans living in Texas. How are they now supposed to act during Wednesday’s Rose Bowl, No. 1 USC against No. 2 Texas?

Go, Texas!

Go, Reggie!

Tackle him! Tackle him, Longhorns!

Please don’t tackle him too hard!

Bush Bid losers took solace in silver linings Sunday.

The Saints grappled gamely, losing the one they had to lose, 27-13, to Tampa Bay, yet came up just short of the No. 1 pick. That means no Bush, true. But it also could mean no more Haslett.

The Jets fell short as well, but, really, what else could they have done? Buffalo quarterback Kelly Holcomb kept throwing passes at them. Jet defenders caught four of them -- Ty Law had three by himself -- and the Jets could scarcely do anything but win, 30-26.

The Packers dropped all the way to fifth in the 2006 draft order, staggered by ex-Packer coach Mike Holmgren’s decision to sit quarterback Matt Hasselbeck in the second half and play Wallace instead. After obliging Seattle running back Shaun Alexander’s attempt to break the league season touchdown record -- Alexander scored his 28th in the second quarter -- the Packers matched Wallace point for point in the second half and won, 23-17.

That ended the Seahawks’ 11-game winning streak and ushered Favre into retirement a winner -- this was a big point made by football broadcasters Sunday -- unless, of course, Favre chooses not to retire.

And the 49ers can celebrate Smith’s first professional touchdown pass -- his first in 150 attempts -- and their fans were assured by a CBS graphic that they really didn’t need Bush.

Said the graphic, noting that 49er running back Frank Gore had netted 68 yards against St. Louis last week: “Who Needs Bush, We’ve Got Gore.” Oh-kay.

Too bad the season lasts only 16 games.

The 49ers and the Saints and the Jets and the Packers didn’t run out of ineptitude. They merely ran out of time.

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(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX)

Texans on the clock

The NFL will announce the draft order today. Here are the teams with the first selections:

*--* Pos. Team Rec. 1. Houston 2-14 2. New Orleans 3-13 3. Tennessee 4-12 4. New York Jets 4-12 5. Green Bay 4-12

*--*

Note: San Francisco and Oakland will pick sixth and seventh, but the order will not be determined until today.