His Next Trick Is to Prosecute Himself

Last week, I gave a stupid-criminal-trick award to the suspected cat burglar who fled the scene of his crime in Rancho Cucamonga, leaving behind his car -- with his wallet inside.

But it gets better.

Officers couldn’t find the suspect, Robert Tharen Murray, 22, of Colton, at least not until he showed up at sheriff’s headquarters in San Bernardino and reported his car stolen, the Inland Valley Bulletin said.

The good news for him was that his car hadn’t been stolen. The bad news was that he was arrested on suspicion of burglary, possession of stolen property and violating parole.

You can say that again: Writer Eric Pierce of the Downey Patriot says that a local mortuary called the paper to report that a new sign had been posted outside the building. “It states quite the obvious, huh?” Pierce noted (see photo).

Out of season: The Internal Revenue Service, as we all know, is very particular about dates, such as the deadline for filing tax returns.

Ironic then, Barry Stone of West L.A. says, that an IRS publication seems to have a calendar problem (see accompanying).

To go or not to go: In Dana Point, Diane Brown of Torrance found a couple of signs arguing about a restroom (see photo).

L.A. can be inspiring: Remember the L.A. Angels of Anaheim fan who sued the club because he didn’t receive a red tote bag as part of the club’s Mother’s Day promotion? (I’m not making that up.)

Well, in his honor, the Altoona (Pa.) Curve minor league team is staging Frivolous Lawsuit Night on July 2.

Some of the highlights, or lowlights:

* The first 137 men will receive a pink tote bag.

* The first 137 women will be served lukewarm coffee to prevent them from burning themselves.

* The first 137 kids will be given a beach ball with a warning not to eat it.

“We realize that these giveaways ... are fairly stupid and serve no real purpose,” said Curve General Manager Todd Parnell. “But if our fans don’t like them, then they can sue us.”

miscelLAny: Among the entries in the Long Beach Gay Pride Parade on Sunday are five of the pin-ups featured in the coming 2007 Men of Mortuaries calendar. The calendar was the idea of Long Beach mortician Kenneth McKenzie as a fundraising vehicle to aid cancer victims. During the parade, the scantily clad men -- Misters February, April, June, November and December -- will dance to the disco anthem “It’s Raining Men” on a specially made dance floor atop a hearse.