Bears discover unblemished season was never meant to be

The Miami Dolphins won one for the aged on Sunday. They won for the members of the 1972 Dolphins, their perfect record now safe from the indignity of being challenged by any team quarterbacked by Rex Grossman.

And they won for the members of the 1985 Chicago Bears, who can now unclench their jaws and stop grinding their teeth at every outlandish suggestion that the 2006 Bears could hold a candle to the Ditka-Payton-McMahon-Singletary-Dent-Gault Bears that won 18 of 19 games en route to the Super Bowl championship.

The candle hit the wind Sunday at Soldier Field, where the ’06 Bears managed to keep pace with the ’85 Bears on one front.

Both teams had their bids for perfect seasons ruined by Miami -- these Dolphins knocking off the previously 7-0 Bears by a 31-13 score, 21 years after Don Shula’s Dolphins stopped the ’85 Bears from starting 13-0. That history-breaker came by a 38-24 margin.

There were a few differences between 1985 and 2006, however.

Those Dolphins were quarterbacked by Dan Marino.

These Dolphins were quarterbacked by Joey Harrington.

Those Bears never would have allowed a second-year running back of Ronnie Brown’s stock to rush for a career-high 157 yards.

These Bears did.

In so doing, the Dolphins and the Bears shut up a lot of people who needed to take a pill.

Remember all that malarkey about the current Bears being the best football team to stomp out of the Midway since the prime of George Halas -- despite the fact this team had beaten only one opponent with a winning record (4-3 Seattle) and needed a physics-defying meltdown by Arizona to keep that undefeated record intact?

Well, on Week 9 of the schedule, Miami offensive coordinator Mike Mularkey remembered that Brown running with the football is usually a better option than Harrington throwing it. Before Sunday, Mularkey had allowed Brown to carry the ball more than 17 times only twice. Last week, Brown ran the ball only 15 times -- and Miami lost at home to Green Bay, 34-24.

It was time for a change, if Mularkey wanted to preserve his job, along with Coach Nick Saban’s. Bob Kuechenberg, one of those cranky ’72 Dolphins, griped about the current plight of the franchise last week, suggesting that Saban be “impeached” and claiming that a Dolphins upset of the Bears was “not even remotely possible.” So what happens?

Harrington has his usual two interceptions and manages only enough completions for 137 yards.

But Brown gets 29 carries, a season high. And Miami forces half a dozen turnovers, the second time in three games the Bears gave up the ball six times -- only this time, critically, without the involvement of the Arizona Cardinals.

Miami gets out of Chicago with a lopsided win -- and if you’re looking for the debate-ending argument about the AFC being the league’s superior conference, there it is.

The worst team in the AFC -- Miami entered the game with a 1-6 record -- beats the best team in the NFC, on the road, by 18 points.

However, after Week 9, the title of best team in the NFC might be lateraled to the New York Giants, who improved to 6-2 with a 14-10 victory over Houston; they will play host to the Bears this Sunday night.

Or possibly the New Orleans Saints, also 6-2 after a 31-14 victory at Tampa Bay.

Interestingly, the Saints, in barely two months, have already doubled their 2005 victory total.

More interestingly, the Saints won easily despite this no-it’s-no-typo rushing performance by Reggie Bush: 11 carries for minus-five yards.

Repeat: That was 11 carries for minus-five yards. A rushing average of a half-yard loss per attempt.

Add Bush to the thousands of USC backers still in a funk over the loss to Oregon State.

Nobody’s calling the Atlanta Falcons the NFC’s best team, not after the Falcons were throttled by the previously 2-6 Detroit Lions, 30-14.

On the first Sunday of November, the supposedly transformed Michael Vick fell back to being pre-Columbus Day Michael Vick, back to throwing for less than 200 yards (163), back to throwing for more interceptions (two) than touchdowns (one).

In fact, Vick was outpassed by Detroit’s Jon Kitna, 321 yards to 163. Roy Williams turned six Kitna passes into 138 receiving yards and Kevin Jones turned 26 Kitna handoffs into 110 rushing yards.

Afterward, Williams solidified his hold on NFL Most Deluded Optimist of the Year by notifying reporters, “If Kevin Jones rushes for 100 yards and a receiver gets 100 yards, there’s no one in the country who can beat us.” And if Williams catches 1,410 more passes in his career, he’ll be better than Jerry Rice.

The Jones-for-100 plus Lions-receiver-for-100 equation is a statistical lunar eclipse. Before Sunday, it had happened only once this season. Sure enough, the Lions defeated Buffalo, 20-17, in that game.

But Jones rushed for 93 yards and Williams had 139 receiving yards against St. Louis, which is close, and the Lions lost, 34-24.

You never know what might have happened if Jones had ground out seven yards, though.

One more statistical lunar eclipse: After a 31-20 home defeat to Denver, the Super Bowl champion Steelers own the same record as the Lions, 2-6. Or, if you will: Right now, the only team in the league with a worse record than the Steelers is the Cardinals, at 1-7.

Arizona had the day off, but Coach Dennis Green’s words echoed from Chicago to Miami.

The Bears are who we thought they were.

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mike.penner@latimes.com