The fickle finger of fame

THE Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has announced the nine finalists for induction in 2007. I like the list this year, and if it were up to me, I’d vote them all in. But given that only five of the nine contenders will make the cut, here’s the order I’d put them in: the

Ronettes, Patti Smith, Chic, Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five, the Stooges.

That leaves Van Halen, Joe Tex, the Dave Clark Five and R.E.M. to try to make the grade another year.

As for the induction ceremony itself, which takes place in New York next March, some predictions ...

Funniest potential acceptance speech

* David Lee Roth

Most poignant speech

* Ronnie Spector of the Ronettes

Most erudite

* Patti Smith, though she might spit

Biggest smooches exchanged on the dais

* Smith and Michael Stipe

Best potential party jam between inductors and inductees

* Jay-Z versus Diddy with Grandmaster Flash

* John Mayer with Van Halen

* My Chemical Romance with Iggy Pop

Most awkward silences at the party table

* Roth and the Van Halen brothers

* Nile Rodgers and ex-Chic singers Alfa Anderson, Norma Jean Wright and Luci Martin