NFC

Best part? No mowing

Sandy and Ted Kyle of Tempe, Ariz., have the nicest lawn on their block -- and they have their son, Jason, to thank for it.

Jason is the long snapper for the Carolina Panthers, and he lives with his folks during the off-season. To help him keep on top of his game, he paid $10,000 to have his parents’ yard covered with FieldTurf. As part of his off-season workout routine, he spends 45 minutes a day snapping footballs into a mattress that features a hand-drawn silhouette of a punter. There’s also a circle where the holder’s hands would be.

It’s an ideal do-it-yourself workout.

“I don’t need to bother anybody,” Kyle told the Charlotte Observer.

He said passersby sometimes compliment his parents on their beautiful “grass.”

“My parents’ dogs can’t even tell the difference,” Kyle told the newspaper. “But it’s real easy to clean up. You just hose it right off.”

Miami blues

Chicago defensive tackle Tommie Harris equated last Sunday’s shocking loss to Miami to a romantic separation -- one between the Bears and what they love so much: victory.

“We had a breakup in our marriage, and now we’re back together,” Harris told reporters. “We appreciate [victory] and we want her back. Everything this week, practice and preparation, is about showing we appreciate winning.

“I want her; I need her in my life. Like in life, if your lady leaves, you’ve got to fight to get her back. That’s what we’re doing -- somebody came and took our lady.”

Whistle stop

The Dallas Cowboys are among the most undisciplined teams in the league, at least if you’re going by penalties. They’re tied for second with 60 penalties, and have been assessed a league-high 610 yards. Against Washington last week, Dallas set season highs with 11 penalties costing 153 yards.

Linebacker Bradie James said the blame sits squarely on the shoulders of the players, not the coaches.

“Penalties are on us,” James told reporters. “You can’t put that on the coaches. It’s really on the players when you get penalties like that. Those are definitely correctable.”

Speaking his mind

In a candid session with reporters this week, Minnesota cornerback Antoine Winfield bemoaned the Vikings’ lack of offensive production -- especially in last Sunday’s 9-3 loss to San Francisco -- and called the scheme “predictable.”

He said he wasn’t sure players were buying into the West Coast offense of first-year Coach Brad Childress.

“That’s tough to say right now,” Winfield said. “Defensively, we’re playing pretty good. We have something going over there. Offensively, we’re kind of at that point where you just need to make some things happen.”

Winfield said the offense “kind of looks like they’re predictable. Run every first, second down and throw on third down.”

Fighting words

It isn’t often that an NFL player will freely distribute his home phone number to a gathering of reporters, but that’s what Atlanta cornerback DeAngelo Hall did this week when he heard of an ominous threat from Detroit center Dominic Raiola.

Raiola, incensed about what he considered a cheap shot by Hall on Lions quarterback Jon Kitna, vowed to exact revenge either on the field or elsewhere.

“I wish I was closer to the play because I would have loved to take DeAngelo Hall’s head off,” Raiola said last Sunday after an upset victory over the Falcons.

“I promise that if I see him on the field again, I’ll take his head off. I don’t care if it is 10 or 15 years from now and we’re playing for different teams, I’ll try to get him.”

Hall responded by giving his phone number and address to reporters to pass along.

“He can come see me,” Hall said. “This goes way beyond football. I don’t know who he thinks he’s talking to.... I ain’t said two words to this chump. If he wants to come see me, he can come see me and tell him to bring his homeboys with him.”

A proud moment for the league.

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-- Sam Farmer