Talk about a cold-blooded suspect. A panicky...

Talk about a cold-blooded suspect. A panicky resident walked into the LAPD’s West Valley station and told officers a snake had slithered into her car without her permission.

One officer, armed with a broom and a box, attempted to take the creature “into custody,” reported the police union’s Blue Line newspaper. “However, the snake immediately fled southbound through the glove compartment.... A perimeter was quickly established and additional resources were requested.”

Animal Services personnel arrived, and the interior of the car was partially dismantled. After an hour, the serpent was taken prisoner without further incident.

The Blue Line quipped: “The interior of the vehicle was reassembled with only a few spare parts left over.”

Unclear on the concept: “The mismatched picture and caption from the photography contest on the state’s official website suggests that at least one cyclist had a roadside blowout,” noted Jeff Harris (see photo).

“I wonder how Lance Armstrong might have fared, if asked to ride a bike with tires as pictured.”

Let’s see -- there are 168 hours in a week ... : Ann Tompkins noticed an opening for a job that might leave a person with little time for other activities, such as sleeping (see accompanying).

Easy for them to say: Those who are confused by the competing Medicare plans probably won’t be comforted by the ad spotted by Dr. Neal Swanson (see accompanying).

Now it can be told: The other day I wrote about an acquaintance at Cal State Northridge who had tried to enter a parking lot by driving over the exit spikes, confident that the posted warning about their puncturing ability was a bluff. (It wasn’t.)

Which inspired Mitch Mann to write: “I went there [CSUN] in the ‘80s and never bought the parking pass. I would carry a plank of wood in my car and lay it down over the spikes at the exits so I could gain access to the teachers’ lots.”

I’m sorry I didn’t think of using my geology textbook for that purpose.

miscelLAny: A paranormal retreat will be held at the Queen Mary today through Wednesday for a series of ghost hunts.

“We have four or five places roped off” for the hunts, one spokesman told the Grunion Gazette. I hope the ghosts respect those ropes.

Price of the event, which is open to disbelievers, is $195.

One speaker described the Queen Mary as one of the 10 most haunted spots in the world. Certainly, the cost of maintaining the old ship has haunted Long Beach officials for years.

Steve Harvey can be reached by e-mail at steve.harvey@ latimes.com.