Water attack spurs another

Not everyone feels like getting cooled off.

A USC student reported that he and a friend “were throwing water balloons from the third-floor stairwell” of Marks Tower “and nearly struck three males who were walking on the street below,” the school’s department of public safety said.

The targeted individuals then confronted one of the balloon-bombers “in his dorm room and destroyed his computer by stomping and pouring water on it.”

You think it’s been hot lately? Consider some of the scorching, triple-digit readings from the past (see photos) -- at a Rialto high school (from Carl Zitek), at a collision center in Beverly Hills (from Ed Carter) and at a Rossmoor carwash (from Tom Burfield). That Rossmoor must be on Mercury.

Hot rumor: Sue Kamm says I shouldn’t ridicule a notice on one household appliance that says, “Never iron clothes while they are being worn.” She suspects that the company -- or its lawyers -- had heard a story about a baseball player making that error.

Several websites point their fingers at Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz. Author Mike Beauregard (“Are You Kidding Me? Strange but True Stories From the World of Sports”) says it happened at spring training in 1990 and even quotes Smoltz as saying at the time, “I’ve ironed my shirt while wearing it five or six times before and never was burned.”

Smoltz has since denied the story. I guess only the clubhouse attendant knows for sure.

Trying to beat the heat? A while back, defamer.com (“The L.A. Gossip Rag”) carried photos of “Naked Leopard Man” -- a guy who was arrested while walking down Melrose Avenue in the buff with a wild-looking cat wrapped around his neck. I wondered what happened to the four-legged creature, so I phoned Animal Services, which identified it not as a leopard but as a Bengal, an exotic breed of domesticated cat. The agency is holding it for pickup by the owner (who was hospitalized) or a relative.

“Naked Leopard Man” inspired some interesting back-and-forth commentary from defamer readers, including:

* “He’s both naked AND wearing fur.”

* “I hate when that happens. I reach into my closet for my leopard-patterned scarf, and I grab the leopard by mistake.”

* “It is a domesticated Bengal. They are wonderful house cats and love water. . . . If you have one, they will shower with you.”

* “ ‘If you have one, they will shower with you.’ Err. . . .”

Well, it is one way to save water.

It’s hot enough as it is. . .: I received a personalized note from the Neptune Society that said, “Win a prepaid cremation. Complete all of the reply slip information and you will be eligible for a drawing each month.” My question: If I win, do I have to take advantage of the offer that month?

miscelLAny: I’d have written more today but, in compliance with government pleas, I’m conserving my energy.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st Street, L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.