He uses checkout line to check out an old friend

Maybe he’ll finish 18th here . . . Whoop-de-doo.

Four more days with NASCAR driver Carl Edwards and the subject switches to Shaq and the Lakers, and apparently Edwards’ eyes are always on the road.

“Didn’t I hear something about the Lakers getting rid of him?” he says, and finishing 19th a week ago in Daytona -- how much more heavy news can one person take?

It’s still one day before the incessant noise of another NASCAR weekend begins at Auto Club Speedway, the Giants the winners of the Super Bowl, which must be news to Edwards, and his mom arrives with bubbly info about his former girlfriend, seven-time Olympic swimming medalist Amanda Beard.

“Mom, now don’t,” he begs, Edwards all guts and glory at 207 mph but now whimpering like a loving son who can no longer control where this interview with mom is going next. “Please, Mom, don’t say anything more.”

Mother like son, though, there’s no stopping Nancy.

“Just saw the SI swimsuit issue,” she says with a hoot, “and there’s a really nice spread in there with Amanda in a tight bathing suit.”

Edwards’ current girlfriend, Kate, may be here Friday. Or not.

EDWARDS AND trainer Dean Golich are walking through Ralphs a few miles from the Speedway, the glamorous life of a NASCAR driver on the road, and something Beard says comes to mind: “Race car drivers are too intense for me.”

This -- as Edwards drops a bottle of Flintstone Gummies in his shopping basket, the vitamins, according to the bottle, coming “in fun shapes.” His favorite: Bamm-Bamm.

Basket full, I’m still expecting Edwards to choose Ralphs’ fast lane, but he stops just before lane No. 4 to pick up a magazine. It’s the SI swimsuit issue.

He seems to know where to look too, and sprawled across two pages, just like mom says, is Beard. Now he’s either got two flat tires and can’t move, or he’s studying the picture to make sure it’s no fake.

Either way, I have an update. Kate will not be here this weekend.

Golich is left to unload the cart, and Michelle is working the register. I ask, and “yes,” she’s a big NASCAR fan.

So who are her favorite drivers?

“Earnhardt and Mark Martin,” she says, “and my husband really likes Jimmie Johnson.”

“So what do you think of the young guys out there like Carl Edwards?”

She shakes her head from side to side. “He must be new,” she says. “I’m not that familiar with him.”

Edwards is standing directly in front of her, and so she senses she has said the wrong thing. “One of you isn’t Edwards, now are you?” she says while looking directly at Golich.

Instead of taking his shirt off all the time, he might want remove his helmet more. Or start wearing a name tag.

Hours earlier he is lifting weights in the speedway fitness center. When he leaves, a tow truck is sitting behind his rental car and getting ready to remove it.

He learns his lesson later, parking where he shouldn’t, but taking out a pen and writing Jimmie Johnson’s name on a piece of paper and puts it on the dashboard.

“They won’t tow his car,” he says.

HE’S SMART, all right. He went to Missouri on an academic scholarship. He’s also got a record label, “Back 40,” saying he’s just trying to give a shot to someone who might not get one otherwise.

He also might get a guitar lesson here from ZZ Top, those close to him worrying now he might try singing too.

But if this race car gig goes sour, he’s got what it takes to make a great Wal-Mart greeter. He’s all smiles, and it has nothing to with the swimsuit issue.

His mom asks him to stop by a “Dressed for Success” meeting for businesswomen at the speedway, and he works the room like he’s running for office.

“If there’s going to be an earthquake that locks us in here for a while, let it be now,” he says, while surrounded by women, and I’m not sure if Kate will be at next week’s race either.

It’s all part of the job, of course, selling a sport still trying to get its grip on California, and at a time when everyone around here can think only about the Lakers.

“I really like Steve Nash’s intensity,” Edwards says, and how do you like NASCAR’s local marketing plan so far?

RACING BEGINS today with practice and qualifying, and yawn if you like, but last year’s winner collected more than $340,000, and after seeing Edwards’ joy saving $17.57 after borrowing my Ralphs Club card, you’ve got to pull for the poke.

When he wins a race, as he did in a truck a few years back, he gave the trophy to Steve Shearer, who was running his own race with an aggressive brain tumor.

He says when he wins Sunday, he will give the trophy to the kids in the cancer ward at Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA, and knowing some of miracles those doctors perform, it’s just a shame one of them isn’t driving No. 99.

Thursday he takes time away from his busy preparations to appear on “Loveline” with Stryker and Dr. Drew, to arrange passes for Matt Benigno, who has his own medical issues. When he hears the Benigno family is already staying in a motor home parked in the speedway infield, he’s excited.

“I’ll be right there,” Edwards says, and asking how he might find them, they say he should look for the Carl Edwards flag.

“Got to be the only one out there,” I suggest, and I’m not concerned. I’ve already seen the YouTube ruckus from last year that has nice guy Edwards about to punch Matt Kenseth only to pull back when he realizes Kenseth might strike back.

Nice guys, though, as you know, finish where?

He’s a sweetheart, all right, featured in two Harlequin romance novels so far, but more Dr. Phil than Fabio, advising the main characters about their relationship.

Kate ought to get a good laugh out of that.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns, go to latimes.com/simers.