COAST TO COAST

Everyone is so much happier in Chicago without Ben Wallace, now deemed the cause of all their problems.

Local radio stations celebrated his trade to Cleveland, broadcasting replays of Wallace’s airball free throws, playing “Happy Days Are Here Again.”

Fortunately, it doesn’t take much to cheer them up with the Bulls 2-3 since with newly acquired Larry Hughes as a mainstay, Kirk Hinrich getting quick hooks and Ben Gordon unlikely to be re-signed.

Happy days are there again?

“Bing your ‘A’ game or sit next to me,” said Coach Jim Boylan after playing Hinrich one minute in the second half in a win over Indiana. “I didn’t like the way the first couple of possessions went.”

Les Miserables

Miami Coach Pat Riley is pinning everything on keeping Dwyane Wade, a free agent in 2010 and reportedly wide open to leaving.

With ESPN broadcasters skewering Wade for waving at drivers against the Lakers, Riley conceded the point while defending him in one of the coach’s dazzling turns of phrase: “He’s going to become who he was again, and I think it’s unfair for him to be called out like that.”

Riley’s dream would be Shawn Marion opting out, allowing the Heat to pursue a free agent, such as Elton Brand.

Marion is already moaning (“I’m used to being a leader on the floor, but it’s got to be everybody”) but for $17.8 million, he can take a lot worse.

Bust of the century

Before the LeBron James draft in 2003, a GM said of Darko Milicic, “Based on the game we saw him, you’d have to consider taking him No. 1.”

Taken at No. 2 by the Pistons, Milicic complained he didn’t get a chance in Detroit and Orlando. He’s now in Memphis, where the Grizzlies messed him up by giving him a chance.

“They gave me everything,” he said. “They gave me time to play, they tell me to just shoot the ball and play your game. Now it is all on me.

“Now I’m losing my confidence, I don’t know why. There is a lot of stuff going on in my head. All the stuff that happened to me before has left some scars.”

Clippers South

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported the Hawks’ divided owners turned down GM Billy Knight’s request to fire Coach Mike Woodson.

Of course, if the owners weren’t in their third season of suing each other, Knight might not have lasted this long.

Knight reportedly wants to hire Larry Brown. Unfortunately, Brown would need major money, so there’s no chance of uniting the owners behind that one.

Spur wars

With all the former San Antonio Spurs running teams, it was a matter of time before one former colleague was suggesting collusion.

“I think maybe there was something behind the scenes there,” said Phoenix President Steve Kerr, who tried to sign Brent Barry, whom the Spurs traded to Seattle, which cut him.

“Sam Presti [Seattle GM] used to be in San Antonio as an assistant. Who knows? I don’t have any proof of that, and I’m not about to look into that.”

Courted by the Suns, Mavericks, Celtics and Rockets, Barry said he’ll sign with -- the Spurs. Imagine that.

-- Mark Heisler