Wanted: A grammarian to clean up this online ad

Richard Showstack of Newport Beach spotted the following grammatically challenged plea on craigslist.org: “I am writing a 7 page research paper for my class, I need someone to read through my research and find good stuff. My research paper is on how to get low achieving at risk students motivated. I will pay you $30 to go through my materials.”

Sounds like this individual could use a little motivating, too.

--

Bathroom humor

On the designations of men’s and women’s restrooms, Ken Harrison of California Comedy Traffic Schools says he’s seen his share at the various facilities where his company holds classes -- “Gulls” and “Buoys,” for instance, at a fish restaurant in San Marcos. Harrison also recalled that one of his female students actually complained of unequal treatment at a hotel in Carlsbad because the women’s room was “named simply, ‘Women,’ while the men’s room was elevated to ‘Gentlemen.’ ”

--

His ‘n’ hers

While we’re on the subject, in Croatia, Jackson Henry chanced upon “the best unisex sign I have ever seen” (see photo).

--

Heavy traffic gets on everyone’s nerves . . .

Even in swimming pools. Steve Propes of the Beachcomber newspaper reported that a member of a Long Beach health club allegedly “committed pool-lap rage by physically pitching an interloper” from his lane in the pool. Obviously no gentleman. Perhaps the temperamental fellow should be ordered to attend Swim Traffic School.

--

Unclear on the concept

Abbye Brenner of Tujunga says she came to a halt in bumper-to-bumper traffic on Vermont Avenue near downtown L.A. and noticed she was in an “anti-gridlock zone” (see photo). She wondered what the sign meant. Well, it’s part of an initiative to cut down on the number of traffic jams in congested areas by increasing parking fines and vehicle-towing during rush hours. Great, but Brenner still can’t get over that she was in a gridlocked anti-gridlock zone.

--

Really covered

In case you were worried about how Hummer owners protect their behemoths from the weather, Barry Nackos of L.A. can ease your mind (see photo).

--

Let’s not get snippy

Actually, potential haircut customers are not being offered financial help, said Charles Rozner of Northridge (see photo).

The loan message was intended for students who attend barber school there.

--

Sounds like . . .

“The 100 Most Outrageous Moments of All Time,” an NBC special, included an old clip of talk show host Phil Donahue interviewing a one-time Hollywood madam. Referring to her workers, Donahue asked, “They were ambitious?”

The apparently hearing-impaired madam responded, “They were not bitches.”

--

miscelLAny

It’s somehow reassuring to see that cities can cooperate with each other. Consider the electronic sign in Hawaiian Gardens that says: “Las Vegas 274 miles.” How thoughtful of the Hawaiian Gardens Casino to post it.

--

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com