Potential bridesmaid opposes the marriage

Dear Amy: I recently learned that two friends are planning to become engaged and that I will be asked to be a bridesmaid. I value their friendship, but I think their marriage would be a mistake.

They fight frequently and make rude and insulting remarks to each other -- in front of company!

They are also affectionate, but it seems to me that the fighting outweighs the love and kindness.

I don’t want to damage our friendship, but I find it difficult to imagine standing up in support of a marriage that I think is a bad idea.

If I decline, should I give the real reason, or tell a white lie?

Always a Bridesmaid

Dear Bridesmaid: Many couples that scrap and fight are annoying and inappropriate -- but devoted to each other.

I agree that you shouldn’t stand up with a couple as part of a wedding party for a marriage that you don’t believe in.

If you want to end the friendship, then give these two the unvarnished version behind your decision, but realize that these people will get married, even if you don’t stand up with them and even if their marriage doesn’t have a prayer of making the 60-year mark.

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