Frivolous use of funds raises donors’ eyebrows

Dear Amy: My co-worker’s wife has Stage 4 cancer, and he has put out the word that he needs money for the mounting medical bills. He also said he was on the verge of losing his home.

We were told that a bank account had been set up and that people could contribute. Here in the office, we all thought that was a great idea, and we pooled our money to deposit a large sum into the account.

Lately, every time we talk to him, he talks about how he just bought new furniture and new carpet and is now taking the family to Disneyland with the funds.

Many of the co-workers are starting to feel used.

We know that the cancer story is true, but what’s next on his shopping list?

What should we do: Tell him we feel the funds are being abused or just let it go?

Insufficient Funds

Dear Insufficient: Your colleague might be under the mistaken impression that he needs to show his gratitude by parading -- or inflating -- his purchases.

Your charity should extend so far as to not leap to unkind conclusions.

However, whoever is closest to him at the office should speak with him. It is quite obvious that he needs financial mentoring. It is possible that he was in financial straits before his wife’s illness.

If the co-worker is behind in his mortgage, it would be best if he turned over his most urgent bill to an administrator (someone at the bank, perhaps) who could make sure he doesn’t lose his home.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.