Sometimes the phones are smarter than their users

If smartphones could talk, they’d probably tell of how much smarter they are than their owners. We users put them through all the elements and then some. Fire, water, wind, snow, safari -- they’ve seen it all.

Consumer electronics warranty provider SquareTrade asked owners to post on Facebook some of the trials and tribulations their phones endured. Several met their demise by car -- either sliding off the top of the car into traffic or just being dropped by overwhelmed or clumsy hands and getting run over as the car backed out.

Some got dunked in a coffee bath like a biscotti at breakfast.

One of my favorites appeared a few times: death by snow bank. The cellular carcass wasn’t found until the spring thaw.

Another good one: The phone sacrificed itself to save the knee of its owner from a speeding arrow.

Here are the top five SquareTrade pulled out for its Cellphone Darwin Awards:

5. Blame Fido. The user wrote: “My dog ate my cell phone and my daughter’s entire throw blanket.” A week later, it all came out in “cheetah print strips.” Don’t even ask.

4. It got whacked like a weed. “It fell out of my husband’s pocket while mowing the lawn and [he] ran over it,” wrote this owner.

3. Potty training. “Talking on cell, while standing @ urinal. With one hand busy the other messing with phone, I dropped cell into urinal!” (Can you imagine what the unsuspecting listener must have thought? And for the record, don’t think the folks on the other end don’t know what you’re up to. The speakers on these phones aren’t that bad.)

2. Taken out by turbine. “Dropped from the top of a wind turbine!! 200 feet to its death!!” This owner never says why the phone was anywhere near a wind turbine.

1. Trial by fire. The phone fell into the fireplace. You know, phones don’t make the best kindling. (See photo above.)

I’m sure someone out there can beat these. Share your tale of unintentional telephonic torture here in the comments or tweet it with the hashtag #myphonessmarterthaniam.

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Sometimes the phones are smarter than their users