Latinx Files: Bella Hadid and the art of being loved ‘Mexicanly’

Periodically, the Latinx Files will feature a guest writer. This week, we’ve asked De Los contributing columnist Alex Zaragoza to fill in. If you have not subscribed to our weekly newsletter, you can do so here.

Bella Hadid is glowing. She’s radiating the shiny, happy, rosy-cheeked light that comes from being in the throes of a special kind of love — a Mexicanly love, according to the terminally online masses.

Since going Instagram official on Valentine’s Day (though they’d been previously spotted together months prior), the Palestinian American supermodel has been beaming over her boyfriend, professional cowboy Adan Banuelos, a Texas-born, Mexican American champion horse cutter (cutting is a rodeo competition where a rider on horse separates a single cow from a herd of cattle). Paparazzi photos of the couple usually show them kissing atop their horses or staring at each other fully decked out in rodeo gear, like protagonists in a rancho-set telenovela.

Just as Goku, the post-punk band Interpol and Carmex lip balm are spiritually Mexican, so is the love story of Bella Hadid and Adan Banuelos — amplified by the fact that Banuelos is actually of Mexican ethnicity (and a legit paisa one at that), and Hadid is increasingly dressing like Ana Bárbara. Elements of their affections bear cultural markers that are recognizable to Latines, but Mexicans in particular. So much so that it’s become joked about and memed all over social media, with the term itself sprouting before their courtship to describe anything with a Mexican energy to it (to dance Mexicanly would include a zapateada, for example).

But what does it mean to be loved Mexicanly?

“When we think of [being] loved Mexicanly, it’s very passionate,” says Spicy Mari, founder of the relationship consulting firm the Spicy Life, where she provides relationship counseling, coaching and magnetic matchmaking. “There’s this burning desire that we feel for you. Everything that we do — our actions, our behavior — matches up to that. If we’re gonna do it, go hard or go home.”

There’s also elements of care, excitement, family-orientedness and sacrifice, explained Brenda Gonzalez, co-host of the podcast “Tamarindo.” For her, the concept of a Mexicanly love stems from her family.

“This idea that our parents would give anything to us, we don’t have to ask,” she explained. “Our house is our house forever. If I need to borrow something from them, they’re happy to do it. If I come over, they’re cooking a whole meal for me. That’s the Mexicanly love.”

One image in particular captures the essence of their Mexicanly affections in full glory. Hadid is sitting on Banuelos’ lap at a party, her back to the camera, embracing him with one arm and holding his face up to hers by the chin with a perfectly manicured hand. His face is absolutely puppy-like in its smiley, lovestruck stupor while he holds her tightly. They are surrounded by party goers but clearly in their own love bubble. Behind them are the true pièces de résistance: a bottle of Dos Equis, a bag of Cheetos of the flamin’ variety and a floral centerpiece two hours short of being swiped by a señora.

The image is giving “making out at 3 a.m. to ‘Si no te hubieras ido.’” It’s giving “Bandido.” It’s giving “impassioned argument in a rainstorm, where a miscommunication turns into tear-streaked proclamations of undying love.”

I liken it to videos you see of señoras with their crusty little white dogs. There is no one more loved, more cared for, more baby-voiced and yelled at than a crusty little white dog in a Mexican or Mexican American household.

The concept of being loved Mexicanly also feels connected to the way music is deeply entrenched in our culture, says Gonzalez.

“A lot of it has to do with the music and the imagery of the mariachi,” she said. “The imagery that is iconic to the idea of Mexican love. I’m thinking of Pedro Infante and Juan Gabriel and Pepe Aguilar. Ranchero singers that capture this romance.”

There’s a lot visually that the pair reflect culturally, but what it really comes down to is the desire to be adored, explained Spicy Mari.

“There’s this level of intoxication that we all want to feel,” she told me. “We want to feel as if we are worshiped and adored. And while that may be extremely intense for some, it feels amazing to just feel so adored and seen. When a man looks at you like he only has eyes for you, it makes you feel lit.”

Add to that the fact that Banuelos encompassases traits of classic, rugged-yet-soft masculinity in a world of endless situationships with aspiring podcasters makes their relationship all the more enviable. A real man’s man doing manly things while still emoting a softness and care without hesitation or question, at least according to what we see online and via our hungered projections.

“I think we all want to be in a relationship where the person is very clear on wanting us, on wanting a future with us,” said Spicy Mari. “Those kinds of things are extremely attractive, because the last thing you want to be is in a relationship with someone who’s uncertain about you.”

This is especially true for heterosexual women, especially during a time when dating men can feel exhausting at best and dangerous at worst, and as a result many have decided to quit dating altogether. To see a love that is recognizable both in fashion and fervor is appetizing, and adds hope that it does exist. And hopefully, it will never let anyone down, which brings up another point.

There’s plenty of memes, jokes, and stereotypes about Mexican men and the women who love them. My friends and I even quipped in our group chat that Banuelos better not pull some “Mexicanly B.S.” like screaming “Perdóname, Bella!” outside her house with a full banda backing him after getting her cousin pregnant. Or her keying his car with Spanish expletives, then marrying his brother in an act of retaliation. The dark side of Mexicanly love, if you will.

It’s hard not to also give into the stereotypes, because it’s funny while born out of truth. We can laugh at ourselves and still love ourselves. But it’s not as though red-hot relationship drama is exclusively Mexican. I’ve watched innumerable hours of reality TV that proves that no culture, no people, are without their mess.

“All of the things that a lot of TikTokers are warning about when you are loved Mexicanly are actually things I’ve seen expressed in other cultures,” said Gonzales. “I always have to push back on the idea that Mexicans or Latinos have a monopoly on machismo.”

Seeing Hadid and Banuelos’ loves sparkle and burn is lovely, and provides something aspirational. And it feels good to see a love that is recognizable to me, a Mexican, romanticized and lauded as desirable by the world, especially in a time where Mexicans and Mexican Americans are painted in the most awful, dangerous terms and Palestinians are being killed. Being into their love feels like loving ourselves in the face of ire and hatred from those who want us gone, which is a small, but meaningful win.

(Jackie Rivera / For The Times; Martina Ibáñez-Baldor / Los Angeles Times)

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