![A cartoon Julio Salgado](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/839deed/2147483647/strip/true/crop/472x472+0+24/resize/1000x1000!/quality/75/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fc2%2F7f%2F9effa08d434792e115ef05b3e0ef%2Fdelos5-cover.jpg)
(Julio Salgado / For De Los )
When it comes to building healthy relationships with romantic partners, there is only so much we can blame our family traumas for when things don’t work out.
![Theres been a stereotype in Hollywood about the portrayals of our Latinx communities when it comes to love.](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/35f95da/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3600x3600+0+0/resize/2000x2000!/quality/75/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F69%2Fe2%2Fb6a36be549fd81010599f41315e9%2Fdelos5-panel1-edited.jpg)
![I turned to my parents to try and understand what it meant to be in a relationship.](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/1dcb44c/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3600x3600+0+0/resize/2000x2000!/quality/75/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Ff1%2F31%2F9a2862df43a28b95e79d05cc61cf%2Fdelos5-panel2.jpg)
![When I got my first and last girlfriend in high school, I assigned myself the role of a protector.](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/3c3e235/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3600x3600+0+0/resize/2000x2000!/quality/75/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F4a%2F3b%2Fdd9c10f34e60862b22e9c6afe324%2Fdelos5-panel3.jpg)
![When I started dating men in college, I somehow equated that to having to be softer and understanding.](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/7308400/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3600x3600+0+0/resize/2000x2000!/quality/75/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F02%2F3f%2Fe6de69f8474e907ebe86b4734ff2%2Fdelos5-panel4.jpg)
![It was confusing because during arguments, I would wonder if I should cry like my mom or use a higher tone like my dad.](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/7603c6c/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3600x3600+0+0/resize/2000x2000!/quality/75/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fa6%2F29%2Fd46cd1e54932bd0a8aa52d3416e3%2Fdelos5-panel5-1.jpg)
![Then I started therapy. I was lucky to find a therapist that was both gay and Mexican like myself.](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/7fc5d92/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3600x3600+0+0/resize/2000x2000!/quality/75/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fe9%2Fc4%2Fbe360a9341eab235cc56e4da45c2%2Fdelos5-panel7.jpg)
![When I offered that perhaps my parents had ruined my ability to attempt a healthy relationship, he called me out.](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/f53d2d5/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3600x3600+0+0/resize/2000x2000!/quality/75/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F60%2Fbe%2Ff805f0ec433cbebe8e7d40ccb170%2Fdelos5-panel8.jpg)
![You're a grown-ass adult and there's only so much you can blame your parents for until you start working on yourself.](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/c45b69c/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3600x3600+0+0/resize/2000x2000!/quality/75/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F30%2F36%2F8373e84e47aca3733515d7c6552f%2Fdelos5-panel9.jpg)
![As I continue to navigate love with a baggage full of trauma, I've learned to let my guard down a little bit.](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/c17ed7d/2147483647/strip/true/crop/3600x3600+0+0/resize/2000x2000!/quality/75/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fe0%2F85%2F3e66cf314cc1b741ad945b366296%2Fdelos5-panel10-edited-1.jpg)
Julio Salgado (@juliosalgado83) is a digital illustrator based in Long Beach.