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Demi Lovato says ‘daddy issues’ led her into ‘gross’ relationships with older men

Demi Lovato wears a white bralette and shirt as she poses for photos at a red carpet event
Demi Lovato has opened up about her feelings on dating older men.
(Scott Roth / Invision / Associated Press)
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Demi Lovato has reached a new phase in her romantic relationships.

The “Confident” singer, who uses she/her and they/them pronouns, recently reflected on their previous romances by sharing some very pointed analysis.

“I think what I went through is that I had a phase of dating older men and dating older guys,” Lovato said Monday on “The Howard Stern Show.” “I went through a phase when I was attracted to older guys because of my daddy issues, obviously.”

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Most famously, Lovato began dating fellow actor Wilmer Valderrama when she was 18 and he was 30. Their relationship lasted from 2010 to 2016, and in 2015 — while marking a sobriety milestone — she declared publicly that she “really wouldn’t be alive today without him.”

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Without mentioning any of their former romances specifically, the “Sorry Not Sorry” artist noted they look back negatively on those relationships that included large age gaps.

“For me, I was a teenager. And so to me, that’s gross. If you are 50 and 60, you’re fine,” Lovato said. “Even 30 and 40, that’s not gross at all. But, I think, that when you’re in those development years, you should absolutely not be with somebody that is older than you by that much. It’s just unhealthy and toxic.”

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Lovato would later add she’s moved beyond some of the emotional issues that led to her gravitating toward older men.

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“I can say with confidence that my daddy issues aren’t anything that are inside of me anymore. And I think there’s a few signs to that,” they said. “I’m with a partner that is my age, essentially. I look back on the past and think, ‘That’s gross.’”

The 31-year-old vocalist then talked about current partner Jordan Lutes. She met the 32-year-old Canadian songwriter when he co-wrote several songs for her 2022 album, “Holy Fvck.”

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“He came in to write on one of my sessions and I was in the studio and was immediately attracted to him,” Lovato recalled. “I texted my friends on the side and was like, ‘He’s so hot!’ ... Now I’m at a place where I’m in an amazing relationship and my boyfriend is a year older than me. We’re growing together and it feels so healthy.”

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In August 2022, the “Cool for the Summer” singer warned young women to not date older men while making an appearance on the podcast “Call Her Daddy.”

“If you’re a young girl and you think that it’s sexy or fun to date older men, it’s not OK unless you’re of age,” Lovato said.

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