How Jim Norton and his wife Nikki fought for love and re-defined comedy couple goals
It’s the classic love story — boy meets girl, they’re divided by oceans, the world closes down, and finally, they unite and get married for the happy ending. In the movies, it would be the plot of a rom-com. In real life, for Jim and Nikki Norton, it was more like a nightmare due to a minor marijuana infraction on Nikki’s record that turned into a long immigration ordeal. Despite all the obstacles they’ve encountered to being together, they’ve always found a way to turn it into funny material.
Jim, who released a new album Friday called “Gender Reveal Disaster,” is the co-host of Jim Norton and Sam Roberts on SiriusXM and a longtime staple in the comedy industry. Nikki is a confident, although somewhat publicly introverted, trans woman who in the past, worked as a webcam model in Norway. These two found each other in a chaotic world, and when their union amped up the chaos, they fought a five-year uphill battle to be together. And they won.
Now married for two years, their podcast “Sword Fight” gives outsiders an entertaining window into their home life, unique love story, and to the repartee of this new age Archie and Edith Bunker. With an authentic support system intact, the Nortons aren’t trying to set a tone or recruit anyone. They’re just being themselves. A new type of “couple goals” coming from different countries, and different generations, and laughing a lot. With each other, at each other, and as is true in any marriage, in spite of each other.
How did you two end up meeting, and Nikki, what did you know about Jim?
Nikki Norton: I was 19 years old living in Norway, I had my first apartment, and I started speaking to this American online named Jim. I saw a video of him on YouTube and I didn’t know he was a comedian because he was talking more seriously. I looked him up and wrote to him. I think he also saw me online, so I guess he liked what he saw.
Jim Norton: I was delighted! She sent me a message because I did this interview where I talked about trans women. I’ve talked about it so many times and occasionally get messages, so we talked briefly. I looked her up and saw she was doing cam stuff, we started talking more, and around two months later, I was like, why don’t you come visit? That’s when she got rejected for a very minor marijuana charge.
Nikki: When I was 18, a friend and I messaged about marijuana, and I got a $100 fine. When I paid it, it stayed on my record, but I didn’t know. So, when I tried to visit Jim, I thought I would have no problem getting into the States. I brought all my papers, and the guy goes, “You’re a convicted criminal and you need a waiver for this.” A waiver is a nightmare because you have to overcome all these things and it started a really crazy process for us.
It’s almost like a $100 ticket and boom, you’re a prisoner.
Jim: It was insane. She never even got caught with drugs. It was literally a text message that was read at the police station. It also made it much harder to prove that it was a small amount, because it was never an actual amount. Because of that, it was seven months before we met. It was just a lot of talking and Facetiming. Bill Burr had always told me to go overseas and that they’d love me, but I would never do it. I finally did it to meet her, so I knew I liked her. After the first weekend in Norway, I knew I really liked her.
Nikki: Yes, he came to Norway, and we hit it off really well. Three days after that, I went to Amsterdam with him. Jim was the first man to take me out in public. So, I knew if I didn’t fall in love with him, at least I knew he was a very nice man.
Wait. Is being openly trans in Norway not allowed? Forgive my ignorance.
Nikki: It’s allowed, and I feel like it’s a good country to be trans in, but I do feel that Norway, although very liberal, is a little bit more conservative. For my parents, it was definitely weird. It’s way weirder there than it is here in America. I have exes in my life, but being in Norway, I was never asked out in public. I always felt hidden away. Jim changed that whole world for me.
Knowing Jim’s proclivities, it’s great that you’ll never have to feel like that again.
Jim: Exactly! We went out and she’s like, “You’re the first guy to ever take me out.” I couldn’t believe a guy could be so scared about that.
Nikki: I knew that it wasn’t just sex when he started to introduce me to his friends and co-workers. I really appreciated that. I thought we’d have sex the first time and that’d be it, but now we’re married.
Jim: We did have sex the first time though. That’s a plane ride! After that, we started going places she could get in and eventually went to Paris, but she couldn’t get in. That’s when we hired an immigration lawyer. They said she was trying to immigrate illegally to the U.S., so they hit her with, what they call, “immigrant intent.” That was a tremendous roadblock. So now you have to prove that you have ties to your home country and you’re not going to illegally live in the U.S. At 20 years old, how do you prove that you’re never going to leave?
Nikki: After the fourth denial, we were like, let’s just bring me to Canada because they’re not going to say yes. Every other week, he would make a six-hour drive from New York to Montreal because that was the closest city to Jim. I went to school in Canada on a visa for photography, but I never wanted to stay there. It felt like I was in limbo until I could be in the States with him.
Since you both were doing everything according to the books, I have to think discrimination ran through your minds.
Jim: Oh yeah. They have such a wide berth in making decisions and it’s very hard to get a decision overturned. If on Nikki’s fourth shot she had gotten a “maybe” on visiting, we would’ve tried for the waiver. Instead, one day the embassy just took it back. They were like, nope forget it, she’s not coming.
Nikki: They knew the amount of work we put into this, so of course I asked myself if it was prejudice or not. I’m a Norwegian person with a $100 weed charge. I mean, it’s crazy.
Jim: That’s when I was like, f— it, let’s just get engaged. We did and got a fiancé visa in Canada so I could come up and see her every other weekend. When the pandemic hit and they said the border was going to close, I just stayed up there and did the radio show from Canada. As crazy as it sounds, the pandemic was kind of a blessing because I got to live with her. We got to see if it worked without sacrificing my job because the whole world was closed. I was there for 15 months, and five months later, they granted her a waiver, and she went through the border and came in.
Nikki: I had a massive waiver file full of every document that we had spent five years on. One officer goes, “Oh, we’re not checking waiver files anymore?” The other officer goes, “Nope.” And that was it. They let us through.
How infuriating that the paperwork meant nothing to them. OK, with that in the rearview, how has married life been now that you’re settled?
Nikki: I have to say, I’ve been to a lot of places, and I feel like the most accepted in America and Canada. I haven’t gotten one bad comment. I mean online, sure, but the people here never say anything bad. In Norway, I will feel people staring at me and just feel this weird presence. Here in the U.S., I don’t feel that at all.
Jim: All of my friends have met Nikki and it’s been lovely. My family really loves her too because they see me so happy. One thing I think that people like about us is, we’re just trying to be ourselves. We want people to like us based on watching us interact as a couple, not hate us based on some political nonsense. We’re not trying to convert people to any line of thinking.
Something I love about you two is your banter. Your podcast “Sword Fight” is severely entertaining with all of the back and forth.
Jim: We have the typical married stuff and people can respond the way they want to, but the podcast is accurate. It’s truthful and we’re not trying to put on masks to pretend. The best way to get people to change how trans people are viewed, is to interact with trans people so they can realize, oh hey, they’re just like everyone else. She laughs at weird things and wants to do s— at 11 at night when she knows I have to work in the morning, so it’s also like having a child.
Nikki: Hey, I’m creative at night! I don’t think people really see the real Jim, and this way they do. They just know the funny Jim who says he’s fat this, and fat that. But I think Jim is a trans icon and ambassador and I sincerely mean that. Jim really gives me a good life and his family are the nicest people ever. My father is very accepting, but I also do have daddy issues so…
Jim: Thank God you do! No, she really gives me a good life too. It’s a very typical relationship in a lot of ways so it’s funny to watch people focus on the extremes.
Nikki: I also think that Jim’s friends know that this is for real, and I think they can tell that Jim is very serious about this relationship. In my eyes, what a man Jim Norton is! To take me to comedy clubs and around these men when I’m from another world and foreign, you do get looked at a little differently, but what a man he is. I mean, people may look at him as a little feminine or a little sub in a way, but you are such a man!
Jim: Do you see what marriage life is like? She makes me feel really good. “Do you see what a man he is? He’s a trans icon! Sure, the whole world thinks he’s a fruit, and a sub, and a bottom, but I’m telling you, what a man!”
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