Compiled by Denise Martin, Special to The Times, and Stephanie Lysaght, Times Staff Writer
Barack Obama, on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Oct. 29
The whole socialism argument, that doesnt fly too well. The evidence of this seems pretty thin. I said today that I think that they found proof that when I was in kindergarten, I shared some toys with my friends, and thats clearly a sign of subversive activity. (Jim Bourg-Pool / Getty Images)
David Letterman, on ‘Late Show with David Letterman,’ Oct. 29
“Earlier tonight, Barack Obama had a half-hour television special. Did anybody happen to see it? It’s a lot of money, ladies and gentlemen. Don’t kid yourself. A half-hour, prime-time network television. I mean, it costs a lot of dough. And they say it was the most money spent by a Democrat for a half an hour since Eliot Spitzer.” (John P. Filo / Associated Press)
Jimmy Kimmel, on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Oct. 24
“Sarah Palin said in Washington, D.C., yesterday that the election is in God’s hands now. Isn’t that what you say to a prisoner who’s about to be executed?” (Dan Steinberg / Associated Press)
Seth Meyers, on ‘Saturday Night Live,’ Oct. 25
“According to expense reports, Sarah Palin charged the state of Alaska over $21,000 for her children to travel with her on official business. In fairness to Gov. Palin, when she leaves them home alone, they get pregnant.” (Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times)
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Craig Ferguson, on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, on Oct. 28
“Tomorrow night, Barack Obama is buying a half-hour commercial on CBS, NBC and FOX. Not on ABC, though. I think its because they’ve got Dancing with the Stars. That’s where viewers can watch an elderly person make a fool out of themselves and then get voted out of the competition, which is completely different from the election, of course.” (Ric Francis / Associated Press)
Stephen Colbert, on ‘The Colbert Report,’ Oct. 29
“More Republicans endorsing Barack Obama. Great. Now Republicans will have to suppress their own turnout.” (Ethan Miller / Getty Images)
Jon Stewart, on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Oct. 27
Mack the knife, Sam the butcher, Bozo the clown. What is with the name and occupation thing? Is McCain-Palin looking to rule us in the Middle Ages? Reginald the smith! McCain-Palin, building a bridge to the 13th century. (Evan Agostini / Associated Press)
Conan O’Brien, on ‘Late Night with Conan O’Brien,’ Oct. 29
“Earlier tonight, Barack Obama aired a half-hour infomercial to attract more voters. Yeah. Yeah, and apparently, if you watched the entire infomercial, Barack threw in a free set of Ginsu knives for you.” (Mark J. Terrill / Associated Press)