‘The Colbert Report’: Smelling John Malkovich

Stephen Colbert embraced his inner conservative attack dog when he interviewed actor John Malkovich on his show Tuesday night.

Malkovich stars in the new biopic “Cesar Chavez” as the owner of a large industrial grape farm who doesn’t take kindly to Chavez’s attempts to unionize farm workers. Naturally, in Colbert’s eyes, Malkovich is playing the hero.

“It’s difficult for me to think of someone who can call Richard Nixon on the phone as a hero,” Malkovich replied.

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“It wasn’t enough for [Chavez and the workers] to get a living wage,” Colbert said. “They had to deny us our lettuce ... At the beginning of the ‘70s there was a lettuce shortage.”

However, Malkovich deftly parried Colbert’s attacks, reasoning, “They didn’t boycott bib lettuce or iceberg lettuce. So why should we care? It was only things like brassica and arugula.”

Outmatched, Colbert did the only thing a man in his position could reasonably do: he asked to smell his guest.

Malkovich, who was wearing a sky-blue suit from his own fashion line Technobohemian, admitted that he has not put out his own fragrance, but he was happy to allow Colbert to give him a whiff.

So what does Oscar-nominated actor John Malkovich smell like? “Just like a baby’s bottom,” Colbert reported.

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